indecisions, visions and revisions

Now Playing: The Descendants / Chronicle

2012-02-12T23:33:00.001-05:00

I am not doing very well in my pursuit to watch all nine nominations…

We were supposed to see War Horse and The Artist; then I chickened out due to impending snow and we went closer to home instead catching The Descendants and Chronicle.

The Descendants
Well, this was a nice little movie. I think it takes great skill to have a movie that’s funny, serious, thoughtful and provocative. I think it’s an even greater skill to have one character embody all those things. Descendants is about a family trying to cope with a mother who is in a coma, a mother who had secrets and flaws. It’s a story about forgiveness and revenge, trust and integrity. Clooney’s performance was so well-played. I was able to relate his character in so many ways, in his anger and his love and his need to put things right. And that Shailene Woodley! Where did she come from? The pool scene alone sold that character wholly. I enjoyed it and would support a Best Actor win for Clooney. 3.5 out of 5 stars.

Chronicle
So, what would REALLY happen if (as a teenager) you woke up one with telekinetic powers? Would you don a lycra suit and mask and begin saving the world? Would you have the emotional maturity to even want to do that? These are the questions that surface when three boys find themselves with just such a power. Shot with a “handy-cam” and presented as a “found footage” film, the movie does a great job if splicing in various sources (security cameras, cell phones, police cruisers, etc.) to drive the plot forward without ever becoming the “omniscient eye”. Not since The Blair Witch Project have I enjoyed found footage as much as this (Paranormal Activity comes closes; Cloverfield was awful). A great bar-gument movie! 3 out of 5 stars.

***

Afterward, talking about what superpower we'd like (I picked invisibility), I said I sometimes yearned for the Halycon days of youth; he says, "you mean halcyon." And another Magneta Moment is born. You're never too old to learn, poppets!

Now Playing: Underworld: Awakening

2012-02-08T01:30:00.004-05:00

I cheated. I’m supposed to be catching up on my Oscar contenders after weeks of neglect and what do I find myself watching on Tuesday? Underworld; Awakening. Good thing no one pays me to do this here “weblog”. (You know what’s funny? Spell-check underlined “weblog” but ignores “blog”. Hmm.)

So, last time on Underworld, we got to see the perfectly yummy Lucian and his back story. That one movie elevated the entire series. Perhaps it was the acclaimed Michael Sheen; perhaps it was the lack of Kate Beckinsale. Whatever it was, it worked.
This time, we’re back to Selene and her story, twelve years after the second movie ended (are you keeping up?). I use the word “story” loosely, as this movie is really just one action scene after another. Don’t get me wrong, the action is pretty good and the new CGI effects are even better… but really? One of the things I like about the Underworld franchise is the decent plot winding through the movies. Even when the acting was weak, the story stayed strong. I feel like they’ve completely forgotten that this time around. Sure, there’s some forward momentum, but there’s hardly any actual acting. And the questions! Don’t even get me started. One of the only good thinge to come out of this movie was the homegrown hunkinees of Kris Holden-Ried.

So, again, if you’re an average moviegoer: 3 out 5 stars. In relation to Underworld itself? 2 out of 5 stars.

Now Playing: Hugo

2012-02-06T12:52:00.002-05:00

Now that I’m mobile, the Oscar list needs to be whittled down. Anything that can be watched on DVD has been, so I’m moving back to the theatre. On Sunday evening, I took in the 3D version of Hugo, based on the fabulous kid’s book The Invention of Hugo Cabret. Directed by the venerable Martin Scorcese and starring Ben Kingsley, Sacha Baron Cohen and the wonderful Asa Butterfield (whom I loved in The Boy in Striped Pyjamas).

Taking place in my favourite city, Paris, during the thirties, Hugo is a very pretty movie. It captures that sense of magic and fantasy that has so many fall in love with the City (as fellow Oscar contender, Midnight in Paris, attempts to express). On top of allure of Paris, there is a layer of romantic machinery that really makes one (read: me) feel nostalgic for a time when technology was wondrous and not ubiquitous. The city itself becomes more than a backdrop - it becomes a character that allows for the unfolding of this story.

The story itself is equal parts mystery, tragedy, and comedy. Excellent casting allows for small moments (the two dogs meeting) to become great ones. And the fact that this is historical fiction, based on the real-life Georges Méliès and his works (getting renewed attention) makes it all the more intriguing. It's hard to talk about the movie without giving huge parts of it away - it's the unfolding of the story that makes it so compelling. I will simply say you should watch it and that I give it 4 out of 5 stars.

baking bread

2012-02-05T00:10:00.000-05:00

Assignment #5: food

My apartment, last night: suburban lights twinkling outside, uninterrupted by skyscraper, ambient music in the background (“oh this uncertainty is taking me over”), countertop strewn with flour, oven preheating to four hundred. In my life, there are few outlets for creative control. There is writing, but she is a harsh, cruel, and fickle mistress. My hands cannot play an instrument or draw a still-life or knit a scarf. No, my hands can do only one thing: bake.

I find great serenity in stainless steel measuring cups and silicon spatulas, in the rhythmic spirals of the stand mixer. I like watching ingredients transform into delicious delicacies. I love the patterns created when chocolate meets vanilla. Last night, though, it was more elemental: I baked bread, dipped my hands in water and kneaded dough on granite until it became soft and pliant. I hummed quietly (“that I would be good”) as I flattened the ball and carved an “x” on the top. I washed dishes, drank a glass of red and breathed deep of the aroma filling my small space. When it was done, I glazed it with homemade honey-butter, sprinkled flax seed for a little taste of earthiness, and sat it upon the cooling rack.

This is where I find peace: in dough and warmth and goodness.
("couldn't be alone couldn't be alone couldn't be alone")

sour

2012-02-04T00:12:00.000-05:00

Assignment #4: overheard at a bar

Thursday night is my quiet night. After work, I walk over to the local pub, sit at the bar and read my book. Two amaretto sours, fifty pages or so, and I head home. Thursdays are sometimes local band nights; mostly, though, it’s quiet. The bartender and I are on a first name basis. Alex usually has my low-ball poured by the time I sit down.

One night, on a particularly warm February night with dry sidewalks and a quiet wind, I walked in to find the place crowded. Clearly the natives were restless and had come out to play. I actually had to manoeuvre my way to the bar. Alex removes an empty beer case from the stool furthest from the stage, giving me a wink. He’s a good man, that Alex.

“Anyone decent?” I ask. Alex shrugs. Guess not. I pull out my novel, a suitably deep dark and wintry tale of murder and scandal. I’m pulled in immediately. Have you ever been so engrossed in a book that time passes without you noticing? This is dangerous in a bar where an empty glass is taken as a signal for a refill. By the time I look up, my head is a bit woozy. I count the empties – three. Yikes. I stand up, but sit back down. Perhaps I’ll wait a bit. I put $30 down and ask for a water. Alex helpfully gets me a glass with a lemon. I nurse it.

“I just don’t get it; I just don’t understand what her deal is.” Two guys are sitting beside me, trying to talk to each other over the band. Great. Guy one is wearing a grey sweater with a white shirt, with his back to me: crisp. Guy two is in a U of T sweatshirt facing me. It’s Grey that doesn’t understand.
“So, what, she just showed up? At your door?” Sweatshirt replies, handing over a beer.
“Yeah, man. At my door past midnight. I don’t even know how she got there. She’s all plastered and pushy.”
“Didn’t she break up with you?”
“Yeah, she did. She went on and on about being sorry and started crying. She was a mess.” They both stared at their beers. “I couldn’t let her go home like that.”
“What happened in the morning?”
“Nothing. I took the couch and by the time I woke up she was gone.”
“The fuck?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re better off without her, man.”
“Why did she do it? Why did she come over just to fucking slobber all over me and my pillow?”
“ ’Cause she’s a bitch? I don’t know. You can’t let her in, man. Put her in a cab or something. Make her go home. She’s bad news.”
“Yeah.” More silence. “Yeah, you’re right.”

My head’s clearing up, the initial buzz fading without further sustenance. I can stand and put my coat on without stumbling. Good thing I’m only ten minutes from home. That’s when I notice a woman on the other side of Sweatshirt, slowly swirling her martini, brooding. She starts talking; Sweatshirt has to crane his neck to face her.

“You know why she came over to slobber on your pillow?” They’re both speechless. “It’s because she can. Because she knows you’ll tuck her in, take the couch and not say anything about it. You’re her insurance policy. You’re the guy she keeps on the backburner. Move if you can. Don’t answer the door, if you can’t. Block her from your life. She’s not just bad news. She will ruin any chance of happiness you may have if she thinks it’s going to interfere with hers.” She puts her empty glass down (stem up) and walks away.

“The fuck was that?” Sweatshirt asks.

“The truth,” I reply, as I head to the exit.

polly

2012-02-03T00:04:00.000-05:00

Assignment #3: birthday

I am an only child. Sure I have a sibling, but in my brain, I'm still an only child. I can amuse myself for hours, do not like to share my toys and am most happy when it's quiet. When my mother revealed that she was pregnant and that I was going to be a sister, I said I did not want to be a sister. She said I was going to be one anyway. I was unamused. When LilBro came home, I asked how long he was going to stay. Mom said forever and I cried. It wasn't a great beginning. The months that followed were not good for me. I was only five and couldn't quite grapple with the intense envy I felt for the new baby. I mean, I had gone from being someone to being someone else's older sister. I began having nightmares and wetting the bed. I lost so much "baby fat" that my school uniform had to be resized twice. I would hide under the dining table and blithely turn a deaf ear to being called. My hair began falling out, darkened noticeably, lost all its curl. There are no cute pictures of me holding a baby. As an adult, anyone would say I was sinking into depression; as a child, everyone just waited for me to grow out of it. Perhaps it was guilt that prompted the most lavish birthday that followed.

I wanted a dress just like Cinderella had in my fairy tale book: it was violet satin, with a triple skirt, and white lace trim. I wanted her tiara. I wanted a a cake like her wedding cake. What I really wanted was to leave my wicked stepbrother and be swept off by a prince.
That year, I got a walkie-talkie doll named Polly. Oh yes, she walked and talked. She had blue eyes that blinked and blonde ringlets. She was like a mini princess. When she was unwrapped, she was a marvel, with everyone entranced by her abilities. I hated her. I walked. I talked. It's my birthday party. Pay attention to me!

The next day, my cousins came over to play. Not with me, but with Polly. I was devastated. Usurped. Again. When they left, I took Polly to my room, where I hid her under the bed. When the cousins next asked after her, I said I had lost her. It didn't take long for them to rescue her. It was then that I knew what I needed to do. I told my younger cousin that Polly should sit with the other dolls for tea. When she tried to bend Polly's legs into the chair, they snapped clean off. Polly could walk. Polly could talk. Polly could not sit. Into the garbage, Polly went.

After that, LilBro and I were just fine. The nightmares abated, I didn't have any more accidents and my hair began growing back (though no longer a dark red, at least it had a wave to it). My signature squishy cheeks made a triumphant return.

I learned a valuable lesson about myself: I can be very destructive when I feel threatened. I have spent year since making sure that I never put myself in a vulnerable place, that I always insulate myself against hurt and anger so that I don't get angry and hurt others in retaliation. Knowing that my greatest fear is to be discarded, replaced - I often keep people at a distance so I don't feel abandoned when they leave.

Sometimes, though, people creep into my heart and I don't even know they're there until they rip themselves out. Whenever that happens, I think of Polly and her amputated legs.

beloved

2012-02-02T00:34:00.000-05:00

Assignment #2: music

When I was seventeen, I ordered a set of classical music CDs from Columbia House. Upon receipt of them, I was immediately drawn to Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata (which I prefer in D minor). I played it on loop, wrote reams of (bad) poetry, read his encyclopaedia entry. Fifteen minutes was too short. I visited my local library and borrowed all his CDs; I sat cross-legged in front of my floor to ceiling window, watching the crab-apple trees outside blossom white and pink, crescendoes crashing in my ears.

I fell in love. Hard.

For a good month, all I did was listen to Ludwig. I felt his pain, his torture. I felt his frustration and rage. I felt his quiet sorrow. I even related to his pithy attempts at feverish jocularity (which always felt stilted and awkward). This man was made for teen angst.

It is no great secret, then, that whenever I hear the Sonata (standing in my lobby, on hold with a certain cable company) I am immediately transported back to the windy Spring days of 1998. I connect that melody with the beautiful tragedy of the asymptote, which is ever-diminishing even as it carries on to infinity. I think of university applications and awkward (unsent) infatuation letters. Mostly, though, I remember the thick sadness that coated my movements, a sadness that (after a while) became addictive.

I hadn’t heard the sonata in its entirety for many years. Until today. Its power has not waned. I know that I can only give it a few hours before I must stop listening. Its dark thrall is as enticing and as seductive as it ever was. It would be too easy to wallow, to drink deep of his melancholy.

mirrors

2012-02-01T00:12:00.001-05:00

Assignment #1: internal monologue

How much of ourselves do we really reveal to those around us? Even those to whom we're close? Can anyone really know what we're thinking? Humans seem to be such empathetic creatures, expressing sadness for others, feeling vicarious joy. Sometimes, though, I wonder if indeed that's true empathy or just a reflection of our own experiences as we project our feelings on to others. I mean, whenever I witness someone's pain (physical, emotional) my first instinct seems to be to measure how I would feel in that situation and judge whether that person is demonstrating the appropriate response.

I don't think we ever really think about the pain of others unless it directly relates to us.
There.
I said it.

We have a hard time fathoming that which we haven't experienced. It's why our language is peppered with similes and metaphors. We can't help but foist our expectations onto other people: "you've come back to work after a year off from maternity leave? That must be tough to leave your kid behind!" Now imagine your reaction when she says "actually, no, I couldn't wait to get out of the house and away from all that drool." ...admittedly, my first thought was mild disapproval.

I mean, why do we really care about being good people? Is it because we want to be or because we know that other people are judging just as harshly? Like if someone asks you this important question and you don't answer right away. You keep her waiting. The only reason you may feel bad is if you're worried whether she'll think worse of you. If you don't care about what she thinks... well, you just keep her waiting. Meanwhile, her guts are in knots and she's freaking out; if she's a semi-functioning adult, she's probably hiding all that inner turmoil under her veneer of expected civility and going about her day because she doesn't want anyone thinking that she's a basket case.

I don't want to think that you and I are such solipsistic beings. I want to believe that we do things because we care about each other and not because we care about our reputations with each other, that we don't have some add/subtract column in which we measure the worth of our relationship, that we are ... more. Most times, I do believe in the kindness of strangers, in the generosity of mankind, in the give-and-take of true friendship.

And then, checking an empty mailbox day after day, suddenly I don't. Suddenly, my entire world is about my pain, my pressures and my regrets. And you, standing beside me, may be opening a letter bearing devastating news of your own. You don't even register on my radar. In that moment, we are locked in our separate places, with no room to spare for any feeling but our own. We're staring into our mirrors, into ourselves, unable to see beyond.

Am I bad person? Are you?

foster care

2012-01-22T22:53:00.001-05:00

So, I put my new relationship with Oscar to its first test last night - I went out for the night and left him to his own devices for about twelve hours. Well, here's the list of damages:

Front Closet: annihilated. Every hanger was on the floor and every shoe was thoroughly investigated. The fact that he can open the closet door is pretty incredible in and of itself.
Plants: they were the true casualties...

Bamboo plant: a housewarming gift from Senator. Now mulch.
Spider plant: her babies didn't survive the first afternoon; she was mauled last night. She's recovering in the bedroom; I cannot guarantee her safety when I'm not home though. More on that later.

My couch clearly lost a wrestling match. I even covered it with a blanket that Oscar slept on, but no dice. Blanket on floor; lots of new scratches on the couch

Sigh.
We went to bed at 0200, after cleaning up. Oscar was clearly unimpressed with me, because he scratched me while tried to refresh his water bowl and tried to bite me during good night pets. The next morning, I also learned that he has learned three new tricks.

Opening the bottom drawer in the kitchen. Oh yes. And then crawling into the nook it makes when pulled out. I saw it this morning and thought I must have kept it open my accident; when I tried to push it closed, I encountered soft resistance and meows.
He can climb to the top of my 72-inch bookshelves; not only that, he uses the flat screen wall-mounted TV as a bridge between the two of them. I still don't know how he gets up there!
He has mastered the bedroom door. Using his favourite weapon - his butt - he bumps into into until it gives way and open up to a wonderland. I can barricade myself in (which I had to do after one Oscar wake-up call around 0400) but I can't keep him out when I'm not here. Hopefully the spider plant gets lucky.

As much as I adore Oscar - who is, bar none, the cutest cat I've ever encountered! - I can't give him the kind of attention a one-year-old kitten needs. He gets bored and then finds mischief. Thankfully, Cyn has offered to foster Oscar until he's old and fat and then he can come and live with me again. Maybe by then I'll have a bigger place for him to roam or at least a space for an elaborate, catnip-laden, cat tree.

Right now, he's curled up on his baby towel on the coffee table, being as calm and and as loveable as can be. He's actually quite zen when I'm around, playing quietly with his ribbon or sitting in the foyer chair. It's only when I'm out of sight for a few hours that he gets all worked up. Wake up time has moved up to 0600 and not for any reason but to get some pets and then return to the towel. If only he would get used to the idea of being alone, we could be roomies. What does this say for my living habits?

Oscar

2012-01-21T11:05:00.002-05:00

Having never been a cat person (or a pet person, really), no one was more shocked than I when I accepted the ownership of Oscar. He's a 16-month-old tuxedo tabby who is quiet, playful and has a cute way of bumping his entire body against your legs in order to get free pets from you. He doesn't seem to eat a lot, uses his litter box (and then comes and tells you about it) and like to snuggle while you watch TV.

There is one slight problem: I'm allergic to the buttercup. Not deathly or anything - the doctor says it will either get better or get worse - no way to tell without just giving it a shot. So Oscar moved in on Thursday night.
I decided to keep anywhere with my clothes off limits - bathroom, laundry room, front closet and bedroom. Oh, and the kitchen counter because that's just gross. I have employed the spritz bottle. But this cat is smarter than the average bear. It took him a couple of hours to learn how to open the front closet (and find a perch in it). I went to work and came back to find my plant (which had like five babies) had been molested and her offshoots all dead. And then, best of all, sometime on Friday night, he figured out how to open the bedroom door without the door handle. It took me the better part of a year to realise my door could do that. So now there are no safe rooms and i can't really train him because I'm gone like ten hours a day, so i can spritz all i like while I'm home, but he has free reign when I'm not so what's the point?

And all this would be fine if i didn't sneeze and get all red-eyed after a petting session...

He's just so cute when he's playing and sleeping and chasing the red ribbon (which he somehow got knotted around his tail so spent five minutes chasing himself around the house). He loves to sleep on you and chases things in his dreams (birds or spray bottles? we'll never know). Oh Oscar, you have brought absolute chaos into my well-ordered life. I think I kinda like it. Let's hope you don't learn how to open a locked bedroom door and smother me in sneezes while i sleep.

Now Playing: Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

2012-01-18T18:23:00.000-05:00

Thanks to a rescue staged by LilBro and his trusty steed (Buick), I was able to see Sherlock Holmes: a Game of Shadows last night, starring Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law and Noomi Rapace, whose turn in the Swedish Girl with the Dragon Tattoo was indelible.

My first thought after seeing this movie was: what would Sir Arthur Conan Doyle have thought? Were he alive, I'm sure it would be: "Money money money, mon-ey... MON-AY!" Having never made it through Doyle's work, I can't say whether it's true to text (though some may have better insight than me); what I can say is that this Holmes/Watson pairing is fun and believable in their own way.

In comparison to the staccato-quick original, Game of Shadows felt a bit sluggish: even though it wasn't much longer in run-time than most movies, I was restless two-thirds of the way through. And, spoiler alert, I missed Rachel McAdams. I thought Irene Adler was a perfect foil for Holmes; Madam Simza wasn't utilised as much more than a plot device, which was s wasteful shame. And Moriarty? well, for one of the best literary villains of all time, he was ... boring. Mark Strong's turn as Lord Blackwood was much better. If this is a setup for a threequel, they could have made more of an effort. 3 out of 5 stars.

oh me oh Maya

2012-01-10T13:19:00.004-05:00

So 2012 isn’t starting off very well. I mean, a sprained ankle that get misdiagnosed and sticks me with a twelve-week cast? Yeah, that sucks. This means no escaping to a hot country for a week (or two), no conferences until April (when they’re all finished), no movie theatres or road trips… yeah, sucks.

And being back at work has been… a struggle. I have some amazing colleagues who have offered to shuttle me back and forth so I can at least avoid cabs to/from work (which would really be annoying as I live, 2 minutes away) and my staff have been wonderful with coffee in the morning and print-job pickups. It’s just, by afternoon, I feel drained and sore. It can’t be good that I look forward to my pain meds more than I look forward to sleep.

Since I have been stuck at home, with nothing better to do, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. Some of which is good: I was able to pay down my mortgage a whole year earlier with some clever negotiating. Some of it has been not-so-good, with some hard decisions being made. I read somewhere that 2012 is for the brave; for this inherent coward, 2012 is bound to be an uncomfortable year. Thanks a lot, Ancient Mayans.

goodbye 2011

2011-12-31T17:09:00.001-05:00

I know I haven't posted in quite some time and I have no excuses. Especially these past three weeks, when I've been home with a sprained ankle and unable to do much more more than sleep and sit. Books, movies, TV and Christmas have kept me sufficiently distracted. I realise that last year I made no resolutions; it kinda worked out. I've had a very good year. Before December, I didn't take a day off sick - this is a minor miracle! I went back to school and despite a serious bump in the road, still scraped out an "A" in accounting. My new job seems to be going well, with lots of (boring) work objectives completed. I continued to travel to new places though I hope to be more exotic in near future. One major bucket list item? Check. This year, Nish's work took her to Africa for five months and I missed her dearly; I also love how we click right back in when we do see each other.

December was a way downer: I sprained my ankle on the 12th and that effectively put the kibosh on all my plans. I'm still on one crutch and in need of painkillers, so I'm not the happy camper I normally am around this time. Nothing a little NYE quality time with Nish and AnCe won't solve.

I'd like to say I have goals for 2012, but I don't really. I'd like to see at least 3 new countries this year and explore a new degree, but that's it really. Sometimes I miss my student days (despite being cold, hungry and impoverished for most of it) where goals were simple: pass my classes, don't declare bankruptcy, find simple pleasures in the company of others. Now everything is more...complex.

Happy New Year to you and yours; in case 2012 really is the last year for humanity, make it a good one.

Now Playing: Immortals

2011-11-18T17:28:00.001-05:00

Last week, I went to see Immortals. I had a few trepidations: would it be better than Clash of the Titans? would it be true to the myths? Would there be at least some focus on the plot (as well as action and imagery)? Well, let's just say... no. on all counts. *sigh* Won't someone please just do an epic already?

There WERE a couple of things I enjoyed: I liked that the Gods were young: really, if you were immortals, would you choose to be Santa or a Calvin Klein model? I also enjoyed the kick-butt-iness of Athena, right down to her matching attire. Finally, I liked that the Minotaur was a creative reimagining of the original man-cow. Honourable mention to the silver bull torture device! Creepy creative, that.

Should you watch it? depends. It is a very pretty movie. Plenty of eye candy. But that's really it. 2.5 out of 5 stars.

love letter, with my croissants

2011-11-03T13:08:00.000-04:00

"Hello you. Adorable, quirky you. There’s no one like you in the world – I’ve looked! I’ve tried to find someone just like you, but it isn’t going to happen. Then I realised, I didn’t want someone just like you – I like you. I want you. You with your strange taste in clothes and even stranger habits. Those habits that puzzled me at first but that now I find comforting and familiar.

This isn’t to say that you don’t sometimes annoy me – you do that too. And I don’t make it a secret and we fight and we pout and generally act like children. But it doesn’t matter. That’s the nice part about fighting with you – I know you’ll still be you and I’ll still be me and we’ll still be we.

I like how you have different facets of your personality that you show only at certain times. Professional-you, all business-like with your clients; fun-you, geeking out on absurd randomosity; serious-you, with the little wrinkle between your eyebrows. Like a few of my favourite things, you sparkle differently in varying lights. I like that I’ve cracked the façade and gotten to see the hidden-you too. Don’t worry, I won’t tell.

I just wanted to say that I’m happy that you are around. Enjoy the croissants."

vicarious loss

2011-10-31T12:14:00.004-04:00

Last week, I received a mass-BCC email. When I opened it, I didn't even understand what I was reading at first. I must have read it at least four times before it sunk in. I am not prepared for this, the death of my friend's mother. I'm just getting used to grandparents dying with alarming frequency; my uncle Len's passing earlier this year broached that invisible generational line. Upon the fifth reading, it finally sunk in that the funeral was the next day and that, yes, she was only 55.

Honestly, I didn't know what to do.
I was at work, it was 1800hrs and I still had three hours left on my shift. I'm reading this email for the sixth time and answering questions about monthly reports and break coverages. It felt surreal. Do these things even matter any more? And then there was the fact I was reading an email. An email. A blind-copied email, so I didn't know who else was reading it and the one person I knew for sure was sharing my shock was thousand of miles away, on an island in the Indian ocean.

That's when I did something that I'm not proud of. I hesitated. I used to think I was good in a crisis, but apparently not. I hesitated picking up the phone to condole with my friend, to offer my support with whatever he or his family may need, to ask how he was and did he need anything. The words stuck in my throat and I panicked. After the eighth reading, all I could discern in the roiling mass of emotions churning about in my stomach were guilt and seflishness. Guilt because I had opened the email at least fourteen minutes prior and I wasn't already on the phone with him; selfish because all I could think about was my own mother and just what a mess I'd be if she passed away.

I actually held the receiver in my hand for a solid two minutes before I dialed his number. And the words still stuck in my throat, still sounded trite and empty, no matter that I meant every single one. I am sorry for his loss, if there is anything I could do, I'd do it (please give me something to do), I'd see him the next day, how is he holding up? I didn't really expect more than the mono-syllabic responses I received.

I called my mother afterwards, greedy to hear her voice, ask what I was supposed to say when I went the next day. I typically avoid funerals, as they make me feel utterly helpless. Most times I get to make my peace with the deceased beforehand. This time, it wasn't about his mother - it was about him. Mom said there's nothing I can say, that whatever words here are have to come from the heart and that, sometimes, there are no words. I remember hugging my Aunt Karen after Uncle Len passed and we didn't say anything, just stood, locked together for five minutes, passing our grief back and forth.

In a testament of deep friendship, I went to the funeral. Despite knowing him for seventeen years, I'd never met his father and had only had one exchange with his sister. I felt awkward, still fighting the remnants of shame from my reaction the night before. I met his girlfriend (suddenly, I understood why he didn't feel the need to tell any of us anything - he had a confidante), I talked to boys I hadn't seen in over a decade, I sat in the back row and fell apart during the eulogy. I felt a little better laughing at fond memories during the reception.

Now, days later, I'm still feeling like I should have done something else. I didn't get to talk to him in private, hug him in that cathartic way, offer assistance. Truthfully, I feel like I'm intruding. I know that it's cowardly to say "well, if he can call me when he's ready" because I should be the one calling him. And yet...

I am at a loss.

twelfth annual fright fest

2011-10-30T23:25:00.001-04:00

On this year's docket: two sequels and a foreign film (what does this say about the American horror-wood?)

Rec 2: the original is still in top ten scary movies of all time. Twisting plot, creepy cinematography, perfect ratio of loud and quiet moments. Do not be sucked in by the US remake; watch the original. Having been foiled once already, I had been looking forward to seeing how they would wrap up the original. I must say, I was a wee bit disappointed. The characters weren't nearly as likeable (I was rooting for those teenagers to die) and the plot took a crazy turn and I was left wondering if I was even watching the same franchise. Not necessary to watch this in order to really enjoy Rec.

Paranormal Activity 2: I know that there are mixed reviews for Paranormal Activity. Personally, I loved it. It had everything a good horror movie should have; suspense, drama, unexplained phenomena and, the most important part, an invisible, untouchable baddie. It was one of those movies that forced you to watch the screen in order to find out what's going on and rewarded you equally with nothing or terror. PA2 is in much the same vein, serving as a bookend to the original story. There are even guest appearances by Micah and Katie! And this time, the protagonists seem a bit cleverer, taking lost of precautions and not leaving anything to guesswork. They even answer a few questions! (Don't worry, there are plenty of new ones by the time they're through). It's a great set-up to PA3.

The Orphanage: or, El Orfanato. This was the movie I knew the least about, so I wasn't overly psyched - turns out to be the best movie of the night! I saw Guillermo del Toro's name in there and immediately got excited; this guy made me a believer after watching Pan's Labyrinth. So, the Orphanage: a woman decides to buy her childhood home (the titular building) and make new home for disabled children, along with her husband and adopted son. After her son tells her about his five new friends, things go south when she's attacked by child in a creepy mask and her son goes missing in the middle of a party. Strange noises and creepy things begin happening. It's not long before she goes off the deep end herself. It's a wonderful bit of storytelling: a genuine mystery threads its way through gripping story that had me hooked. This has probably made it into my top ten.

full circle

2011-10-28T16:29:00.000-04:00

Last year, a dozen yellow roses signalled the beginning of a new relationship. Though, it wasn't new at all - we'd dated before, we'd broken up like seven times, we haven't stopped being in each other's lives since we met (officially) over a dusty bank of computer monitors more than thirteen years ago. This time, I think, we did the mature thing: laid our cards out right at the beginning, no games, no coy suggestions. This time, I think, we did it right.

The upside to dating a friend is that there are no awkward first/second dates. You don't need to worry about finding out weird deep dark secrets that throw you for a loop. You slip right into a pragmatic relationship that's as comfortable as an old pair of jeans.

The downside is, of course, that the giddiness of the first/second date never happens. There are no deep dark secrets and all-night phone sessions. You slip right past all the crazy topsy-turvy parts into an old pair of jeans. That's the trade-off.

I know I like surprises and I like not having to make decisions... but at the same time, I get impatient if nothing happens or if I think we've wasted money/time. I'm a difficult woman. I get angry over stupid little things, I avoid situations where I know I'll be vulnerable, I'm picky about where I live, what I wear, who I'm with and how I spend my time. I don't know how to give up control without becoming neurotic.

Honestly, I don't know how he puts up with me. He once said I was the most put-together woman he's ever met. I wondered how long I could I pull off that image before it all fell apart. Answer? Not very long. I like that he's seen me puffy from sleep and without makeup, that he's watched me struggle with technology and has had the sense to not tell me to relax, that he doesn't judge my OCD list-making.

I'm not very artiuclate when it comes to love. I'll leave it to Edna St. Vincent Millay to express it best:

Love is not all: it is not meat nor drink
Nor slumber nor a roof against the rain;
Nor yet a floating spar to men that sink
And rise and sink and rise and sink again;
Love can not fill the thickened lung with breath,
Nor clean the blood, nor set the fractured bone;
Yet many a man is making friends with death
Even as I speak, for lack of love alone.
It well may be that in a difficult hour,
Pinned down by pain and moaning for release,
Or nagged by want past resolution's power,
I might be driven to sell your love for peace,
Or trade the memory of this night for food.
It well may be. I do not think I would.

Happy Anniversary.

Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

2011-10-24T23:29:00.003-04:00

The third instalment, devoured in 72 hours flat, of the Hunger Games trilogy: Mockingjay. A perfect example of the imperfect endings of real life. Seriously, you need to read this trilogy. Like, now.

SPOILERS!

Katniss - boy, is she flawed. And I like that Collins is not afraid to show it. That conversation between Peeta an Gale on page 328? I can't imagine it ever happening between two men given the situation they're in - but I do appreciate the candid assessment of the Mockingjay. I find her selfish, easily addicted and generally morose. I guess the parallel story is that of her on-TV personality which is what the people fell in love with and who the people decided to follow. Had the general public seen her meltdowns and general apathy, would they have loved her? I didn't. In fact, I always thought it shouldn't have been her at all.

Gale - that's who it should have been. His passion/rage reminds me of stuff I've read about Che. Way braver than I would have given him credit and with way less motivation than the other victors. And yet... and yet, despite his brilliance, athleticism, wit, he's somehow maligned? I didn't understand how he could play second fiddle to

Peeta - the baker. He spent a third of the trilogy trying to kill Katniss. Yes, yes, he was tortured. Boohoo. A lot of people were tortured. He remained the same throughout the entire series - soft. I have no time for characters like this. Had he had his way, he would've retreated to some mountain heritage and preached tolerance while blood ran thick throughout Panem. His only motivations for involvement were entirely selfish. It's too bad the brief glimpses of his cutting honesty with Katniss didn't really last.

...I wonder how they spent those 20 years, with Peeta fighting his hijacked hatred and Katniss always playing nursemaid to him. Gale really did hit it on the head when he said she would choose the one she needed to survive - and what she needs is to feel needed. She and Gale would have had a tumultuous relationship; she and Peeta seemed to have had an entirely uneventful one.

And despite all this grumbling: I still loved the trilogy. The imperfect characters (Katniss' mother, Madge, Finnick, Coin...), the great twists, the eerie parallels to our time now... so good. All this complaining is only a reflection of just how engaged I am with these characters' lives.

Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins

2011-10-22T15:04:00.001-04:00

Wow. I haven't done this is in a very long time. I actually stayed up all night reading. That's right: all. night. There is definitely something to be said about plot-driven novels. They're intense, suspenseful and downright gut-wrenching. Not to say that there is no character development to be found in Collins' work - there is, certainly! I think, however, it's the plot that propels us through it. By the time I got to the end of Catching Fire, I was almost rabid for the third instalment; it wasn't until I turned off my beside lamp that I realised it was well past sunrise; my alarm ten minutes later confirmed it. And you know what, poppets? It was all worth it. I look forward to Mockingjay.

*SPOILERS! DO NOT READ BELOW if you care*

The second instalment finds Katniss and Peeta back in the Hunger Games arena, due to the evil machinations of President Snow. This time, they're already heroes and are up against previous victors. May I say, that I simply loved Katniss' reaction to the news - who hasn't felt like screaming into a rag when faced with the futility of life? There's more proof that Katniss is a badass and that Peeta is as soft as they come (standing on a platform, waiting to be rescued? ugh). I find Peeta quite annoying. He's so completely useless in an arena situation. And while I can appreciate that Peeta and Katniss have taken the stereotypical feminine and masculine roles, Peeta is also the reason I usually hate the useless girls in actions movies. Kill something already! He bakes pretty cookies for chrissakes! (I swear, if Katniss rejects the wicked Gale for this sissy, I'll die. Especially if he doesn't do something to prove himself soon.) And at the end, we find ourselves in yet another incredible (but very believable) twist. I don't know what to really say about Catching Fire - like the middle books of most good trilogies, it is full of everything tasty. Can Collins come up with an ending to it all that will satisfy without being saccharine? Will it be hopeful or tragic? With most YA movels, I do find a leaning toward to the happily-ever-after, so Katniss will probably live. Too bad this isn't full-on contemporary fiction, where Katniss could very well die - I somehow don't see that as an ending. The question isn't if she will survive, but how? can't wait to find out!

Fool by Christopher Moore

2011-10-16T23:56:00.002-04:00

I read Fool in record time - just under 2 days! I won't make it a long review, as my feelings for Christopher Moore are widely known. Suffice it to say that if you're looking for a faithful rewriting of Shakespeare's King Lear, look elsewhere. If you're looking for a serious post-modern retelling, look elsewhere. Hell, if you're hoping that these intense characters will not be fucked with sideways and left bewildered by the shagging, that the historical context will be coherent or that even the story begins and ends the same... well, don't pick up this book. This is a complete departure from the original play, with heroes becoming villains, extra characters appearing, entire plotlines added and best/worst of all, a copious amount of cursing. This is an absolute romp! I giggled and winced and wholeheartedly enjoyed myself through it all. The word "irreverent" doesn't even begin to cover it.

massive love affair

2011-10-15T01:30:00.000-04:00

There have been very few bands that have completely changed my life. I will be the first to admit that I'm not an audiophile. I listen to one radio station in the car, I own a dozen or so CDs, and I can't name anything new or hip. I like dancing and I like music, but I'm not an aficionado by any stretch. I like what I like and I LOVE Massive Attack.

This little duo with an ever-changing fringe has been around since 1988 and I only really got exposure to them in 1999, when a friend (with what I would call "weird" musical tastes) gave me a little album entitled "Mezzanine". Let me tell you, I fell in love. In deep, undying, obsessive love. Almost ten years later, that same friend, seeing my sickness, fed it by giving me every single thing Massive Attack has ever released. I now have 204 singles, remixes, radio edits and live tracks. And I'm still not sick of them.

The other day, sitting in Celebration Square on a Friday afternoon, surrounded by suits spilling out from the Civic Centre, enjoying Food Truck deliciousness, I heard the familiar opening heartbeats of one of my favourite songs of all time and just about died of shock. Fourteen years after its initial release, this dark, trip-hop, subculture band was being blasted for picnic background music! I couldn't be happier for them.

And actually, now that I think about it, Massive Attack has become much more prevalent in mainstream media - from car commercials to TV show themes - introducing themselves to a whole new demographic. I kinda love it. As a non-audiophile, it makes me feel good that I actually "found" a band first. Though, truth be told, I owe it all to Mishu.

Despite their new-found (and growing) ubiquity, Massive Attack is still my secret soul music. Their beats and rhythms have accompanied me through dozens of late-night essay sessions, love and heartbreak, victory and defeat. When I had to choose my gamer handle, I went with DissolvedGrl; when I needed a blog handle, I couldn't think of anything more appropriate. Even as I type now, it's playing slyly in the background. And I have hope that there's always more, that better things are still to come..

Now Playing: Moneyball

2011-10-14T00:12:00.000-04:00

Can you make a baseball movie thrilling? Yes, I think we've proven that before. So, what does Moneyball bring to the table that hasn't already been done? Hard to say.

Here's the thing: I got a FB message from DK asking if I wanted to see either 50/50 or Ides of March. Well, umm, I'd already caught both, so that left Moneyball. In a bid that proves just how easy I am, I said okay. After a delightful Thanksgiving brunch at Whole Foods, we settled into the movie.

All in all, it was okay. I probably could've rented it, but it wasn't bad. I learned something (statistical baseball? love it.) and I was entertained. Also, Jonah Hill in a non-slapstick role? It was weird... I don't know if he was great or anything - but he wasn't flat. I would give it a 3 out of 5 stars.

As an aside: has anyone been hushed during the pre-pre-show? You know, the random movie trivia and advertisements? I have never experienced this - frankly, I've never been hushed in a movie before. It was not surprise that it was some middle-aged woman watching a movie alone who did the shushing. I know it sounds mean, but she probably also has cats and neatly labelled junk jars. Honestly. Who does that? /end judging

Now Playing: Real Steel

2011-10-13T00:58:00.000-04:00

Sunday is dedicated homework day for this semester and, as a reward for finishing all our work, we went to see a lovely little family flick about rock-'em-sock-'em robots called Real Steel. Yeah, I know what you're thinking: can song-and-dance man Hugh Jackman really pull off ex-boxer? and can Evangeline Lilly really play anyone but Kate? Okay, maybe you're not thinking either of those things, but that's what I was thinking for sure.

Anyway, the answers are Yes and Kinda, respectively. Jackman could probably sell sand in a desert and his leftover Wolverine muscles don't hurt the cause. Lilly plays Bailey, who is what Kate could have been had she not had a number attached to her by an island. They're both passable. It's Dakota Goyo, fellow Canadian and all-round adorable sass-mouth, that is the real star of the movie. he's likeable, believable and downright adoptable.

As for the robots - because, let's face it, that's why you go to see this movie - they're pretty wicked. I totally believe that robots could indeed take over the sport of boxing. The bots were particularly emotive, fun and intimidating (as appropriate). If you have little people in your life and you wish to see an action movie that's not bloody, expletive-filled or overly sexified, I recommend Real Steel. It was a lot of fun. 3.5 out of 5 stars.

Now Playing: Ides of March

2011-10-12T00:13:00.000-04:00

In order to avoid being stuck at home with a bunch of drunk old people, LilBro, Jadek and I took shelter at a local movie theatre and watched The Ides of March. I didn't really know what the expect from this movie, since I had only watched one trailer. But, given my newly buried hatchet with Mr. Clooney and the alternative of group singing "Take the Ribbon from your Hair", I thought "what the heck!"

Must say, I was pleasantly surprised. In a theatre full of remakes and book adaptations, this was an original script with some excellent acting. Ryan Gosling - can he do any wrong? - killed it; Paul Giamatti was a scene-stealer; and Evan Rachel Wood .. where did she come from? It was a lot of fun.

Here's why it doesn't rank higher than the 3 out of 5 stars I'm going to give it. I didn't learn anything from any of it.

/Spoilers!

Yes, politicians are scum and will always fuck the intern; yes, idealism has no place in the real world; yes, friends will screw over lifelong friends in order to have the chance to get ahead. Yes, yes, yes. Cynicism wins the day. Whoopee! It didn't even have a plot twist and ended really abruptly.

/end Spoilers!

I have no doubt that there will acting, directing and even scripting nods for Ides. I just don't know if, as a whole, the movie is anything more than average.

thirty-three

2011-10-11T00:03:00.000-04:00

My parents celebrated their 33rd anniversary this weekend. Christ himself didn't last much past this milestone. I'm always awed by how much more in love my parents seem than when I was growing up. Is it because they're less stressed out by their kids? Their jobs? Is it because my mom is over the worst part of menopause? That my dad has totally mellowed in old age? Is it me? Am I just better at seeing them as humans and not prison guards?

Regardless.

This weekend also happened to be Canadian Thanksgiving, and we had guests from Australia joining us. I cooked (a first!) two pot roasts and brought them over. Mom and Dad were in their usual pre-guest mania - this is, sadly, a trait I have inherited. Since they weren't my guests, however, I was calm enough to say "Hey! Go get ready! I'll do this." This being make the salad.

Usually we gather to say our thanks, and I worried that I would have to say my thanks in front of a bunch of people. I have MUCH to be thankful for: family, friends, love, health, stable job, ability to travel... mostly, though, I'm thankful for my parents and their 33 years together. They are good role models for a healthy relationship (the give and take needed, the respect and love required, the sense of fun); they are good parents, raised me to be strong, capable and confident in my abilities (their actual anniversary is, fittingly, also Ada Lovelace Day); they are good people, struggling valiantly with the beliefs they grew up with in the face of modern critical thinking - I have to give them credit for at least thinking about it, even if we don't draw the same conclusions. I love them; more importantly, I like them - something I don't know if I could have said that when I younger.

Happy anniversary Mom and Daddy. Here's to at least 33 more.

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

2011-10-10T10:00:00.000-04:00

Here's how I came about reading The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins:

On a beautiful morning in Stratford, walking through the non-chain book stores, VeCe looks at me all incredulous that I haven't read this book - just read the first page,she says, and you won't be able to stop. I do and it's okay so I buy it. Two weeks later, Jadek is asking me what he should read on the R66 trip and, being a good librarian girlfriend, I open my own shelves and hand this one over. I convince him it's really good, even though I've only read the first chapter. He finishes it and gives it back with glowing reviews. I mean, he goes out and buys the trilogy in hardcover... that's commitment! Two week after that and we're discussing a October's Book Club pick , trying to find something Halloween-themed but that isn't horror (our newest member was a bit squeamish and we didn't want to scare her away). We settle on Hunger Games. luckily, I had just finished my last book so I could get started. Four days later, I was finished. Poppets, you know how long it takes for me finish a book. That should be testimonial in and of itself; but, in case it isn't....

Hunger Games is one of those novels that opens up unexpectedly. It's full of flawed characters headed by the likable but decidedly imperfect heroine, Katniss Everdeen. The plot is driven forward relentlessly, even when you feel like you need to take a breather. In many ways, Collins forces the reader to struggle along with Katniss, implementing a sometimes brutal pace. Then, just when you think you can't handle it any more, she gives you a respite. And the descriptions! I could actually picture these places, see the chariots, taste the food.

I can't review THG without talking (a little) about the society in which it takes place. A society that allows the hunting of teenagers both as a form of entertainment and control. Can such a society really exist in our too-too-distant future? It's not hard to imagine. We already watch people starving slowly on reality shows, pay good money to watch torture-porn or so-called "revenge" flicks. The only thing that stops us from feeling guilty - if you feel guilty at all - is that we can say that no one got hurt, really. But what does it says about us as a people that a franchise like Saw has seven instalments, that movies like The Hills Have Eyes not only gets made, but gets remade? /end philosophical soapbox

Anyway, a great book, The Hunger Games. Engaging, thoughtful and, most importantly, fun. I shall never doubt the power of YA again.

Now Playing: 50/50

2011-10-09T04:00:00.000-04:00

Normally I don’t watch comedies in theatres, especially if they star Seth Rogen. I think comedies are natural rentals. I do make the occasional exception, however, and anything with the fantastic JGL certainly warrants that. Enter, 50/50 – a story about a young man who gets diagnosed with cancer and how he deals with it. Potentially very depressing stuff. It’s a real credit to the scriptwriters and the acting team that they deal with the anger, horror and incredible unfairness of it all while still maintaining a realistic humour. Anna Kendrick is the quiet scene-stealer as is Bryce Dallas Howard who plays reprehensible with great panache. JGL is his usual thumbs-up and Rogen is his usual crazy. But you know who got me? Angelica Huston. We need more of her in movies.

I think it’s still a good rental movie but also feel good about supporting it in theatres. 4 out of 5 stars.

book fest

2011-10-08T00:26:00.000-04:00

A mere four months into my new manager-ship, my boss says to me “I think you would be the perfect person to take on the annual literary festival” – by which, of course, she meant that “no one else wants to go through that hell again and, being lowest on the totem pole, you’re it, kiddo” … yikes. There is no doubt in my head that the first emotion I felt upon that pronouncement was, well, fear. I didn’t even know how to do anything in my own department yet, forget taking on a huge system-wide event. An event that would soon be linked with the national Culture Days movement. An event that, despite the best of intentions always seems to be a lot of work for very little recognition. Double yikes. But what does one say to one’s boss in this situation? The only thing there is to say: “sure!”

Fast forward three months and we’ve got a newly christened event (the more causal and family-friendly “Book Fest” replaces the rather snobby “Literary Festival”) in a new venue (home turf!) with a new way of doing things. As usual, my motto of “go big or go home” is the driving force behind all my planning. The building we’re hosting the event in is turning 20 years old this year, so I went with a birthday theme. Here’s some of what went down:

Three different tours are offered as part of our Door Open commitment.
Fifteen local authors set up tables and mingled with each other and the public
Twenty exhibitors, from Anime Clubs to publishers, lined the atrium
A huge Book Sale doubled as a fundraiser for the library
Storytimes were held every half-hour
20 book trucks were decorated and paraded around the brand new Celebration Square
An edible display of a 135-pound birthday cake and 499 cupcakes was wheeled out and thousand-plus people sing Happy Birthday to the Library.
The mayor says some very kind words and cuts the cake
Jeremy Tankard wraps it all up with a great talk to 150+ kids.

I was so exhausted after it all, I actually went to bed at 1800, woke up around 2030 for some soup and went back to bed. I spent most of Sunday napping, reading and doing homework.

I took Monday off but I can’t help check my work emails – thankfully they’re full of congratulations. My only worry now is that I’ll be asked to do it all over again next year. At first, all I can think is "no thank you!"; now that it's a few days past, however, I'm thinking "why not?"

back to school

2011-10-07T01:00:00.000-04:00

I don’t know what possessed me. I mean, I’m busy enough with work and friends and family and a boyfriend. I think I was just feeling a little intellectually… atrophied. My job is challenging but it isn’t exactly rocket science. Worse, I don’t seem to be able to use analytical and problem-solving skills enough to keep them sharp. I needed…more.

So, now, on Thursday evenings I find myself in a building that’s like a bizarro version of my high school sitting in an accounting class. That’s right, accounting. Whenever I’d say that I’m going back to school, people would ask me (all excited) “ooohhh, what for?” and I (equally excited) would answer, “accounting” and, inevitably, the look of puzzlement crossed their face. Yes. Accounting. I feel like my love for numbers and money has been seriously ignored these past few years. I mean, the “budget” at work consists of staying under 100%; they don’t even give me real numbers. Yawn.

At first, I’m pretty lost. It’s clear that my fellow students are all in an accounting field of some sort already, most just there for recertification. My second class is a disaster: I can’t get anything to balance, I keep getting debits and credits mixed up (it’s like the opposite of real life, btw) and I still don’t understand why expenses are considered equity items and not liabilities. Ruh-roh. My brain is actually hurting from thinking. I mean, I have to mutter out loud to myself to keep it all straight. I. Love. It.

This past Sunday saw me sweating over my first assignment. It’s only worth 5% of my overall mark and yet it takes me almost two hours to finish and another thirty minutes to review and fix mistakes. It’s a little pathetic that I feel strangely happy at having it all balance. This is the perfect thing for me – school with no pressure! Even if I fail, it doesn’t matter! …Not that failure is an option. My innate competitive nature is already kicking in and I want to score higher than these accountants in my class.

I’m already looking forward to next semester. Do I want to continue with accounting? Only seven credits stand between me and my CGA accreditation. At the same time, this reawakening of certain parts of my brain has also prompted different desires: creative writing, cooking, dancing… there are only so many evenings in the week!

For now, I’m enjoying the moment – the two-handed calculator skills perfected in Calculus, the graph paper, the different coloured pens and the beautiful “aha” moments that give me a little rush. How I love setting up general journals with their symmetrical debit/credit columns, spending two hours meticulously filling in ledger balances, finally summing up a 64-line trial balance that, miraculously, actually balances.

Some people have hobbies. I have accounting.

Route 66

2011-10-06T01:00:00.000-04:00

I returned from the Route 66 trip on September 11th and I'm only just getting to post about it now. Many apologies poppets. A number of things conspired to keep me from you - Book Fest, Accounting, Work and mundane things like cleaning the bathroom. Here follows a brief breakdown of the highs and lows that was The Mother Road.

Day One: Mississauga to Buffalo to Chicago (by road and then air)
AnCe, Jadek and myself climb into AnCe's car and make our way to Buffalo, where we catch our half-price plane to Chicago. It's amazing to me that the 40 minute drive has us $300. Each. I LOVE my hometown, where if I fly straight home, I'm in my PJ's within 30 minutes of landing (with no connections!) and where, if I'm being cheap, I can cross the US border and catch a plane to anywhere in the States for half the price. Anyway, we land in Chicago (I marvel at how, really, all airports look exactly the same) and are reunited with Nish, who had landed the day previous, coming from Madagascar (!!).

Day Two: wander around the beautiful Bean Town, with its amazing architecture and yummy food. Th boat ride is a great way to explore the City. We pick up our car rental (Nissan Rogue) after almost ninety minutes waiting for it. At least we get a $250 "discount" (i.e. we're not charged for the extra two drivers).

Day Three: early start to see the Bean (aka Cloud Gate) in Millennium Park. I absolutely LOVE it. I want to take it home as a souvenir and plonk it down in the Commons near my house. Alas. We pack the car and begin the search for the official beginning of Route 66; after 45 minutes (!!) of driving in circles we find it... barred from access by construction. I laugh so hard I'm easily crying. We do find a historical marker as a substitute, so that works out. Today's final goal is Marshfield, Missouri by way of Lincoln's tomb. 849 kms later, we're there - after 2200 hours. We also learn the Pontiac lesson today: do not trust any R66 signs that have dates - these are merely senseless detours.

Day Four: we gotta drive through 4 states today, to get to Amarillo, Texas. On our way we;
- hear Deliverance banjo music in some fields on a detour in Missouri trying to find Laura Ingalls Wilder's home.
- give money to two firefighters in Kansas
- get pulled over for speeding in Oklahoma (thank State Trooper Hoyt for the warning!)
- visit the ghost town that wasn't known as Texola
- discover the "!" light on our dashboard in on - flat-ish tire gets pumped.
- check into the Big Texan Ranch motel.
At the end of the day we gorge on a HUGE steak and thirteen free side dishes, drink out of our plastic boots and sleep the sleep of the dead.

Day Five: after a rainstorm, the temperature drops from the average 100F we've been experiencing to a chilly 59F. Today we hit the mid-point of the Mother Road in Adrian, Texas. Postcards gets sent. Main destination today is the White Sands national Park in Alamogordo, New Mexico where there will be sand sledding and beautiful dune action. Check into our hotel in Roswell and keep the blinds open to catch any UFOs that may happen by.

Day Six: lots of driving today, with a stop at the 66 Diner (Albuquerque), the Petrified National Forest and a certain corner in Winslow Arizona. Nish is ignored by the sheriff despite a four-way blinker stop on an off-ramp. Checked into the "haunted" Montevista Hotel in Flagstaff. After a night of weird thumps and banging, we've decided it's just poor soundproofing.

Day Seven: today we do some SERIOUS driving. We get to Monument Valley (Utah) - amazing! - and then decide, what the heck, we'll got to Four Corners as well (meaning we'll touch Colorado on this trip as well). This is a serious detour, as flagstaff is only about 30 minutes away from our final destination - Grand Canyon. AnCe does some fancy pedal work to make it into the Canyon for sunset. that night Jadek encounters wildlife that will drive him to drink. Good times.

Day Eight: early start to catch sunrise (in PJs) and then pack the car before getting in amazing breakie at the El Tovar and heading out to hike the rim. It's really really hot but we decide to start the mile marker zero and walk all the way back. I make it to the Abyss before I call it quits (lucky me, I hiked from the Abyss back to town last year). We get to the car and our annoying slow leaking tire is now completely flat. Ruh-roh. No service stations in the canyon. But the Parks guys must service their vehicle somewhere. 45 minutes and $15 later, our tire is repaired and we're on our way...Vegas, baby!

- One very scary U-turn later and we're checking into the Bellagio. Our grimy selves are completely out of place in this beautiful lobby but there's no time to take it in - we have show tickets for 2230 and it's already 2115. We're strategising bathroom usage when we open our Suite doors and discover absolute luxury - five bathrooms and seven TVs, two bedrooms a dining room, living room and kitchen. This place is bigger than all our arrangements combined! We change, run over to Bally's (very Ocean's 11-esque) and sit in our front row Jubilee seats. That night, much giddy drunkenness ensues due to a combination of very strong drinks and very weak wills.

Day Nine: Shopping at the South Premium. After a trip to the sketchy liquor store, I spend the evening in a bubble bath to end all bubble baths while the rest catch the O show. A slow day is a nice change from the hectic.

Day Ten: breakie at Bellagio. Back on the Road, this time to San Bernadino. Decide to skip changing cars in LV as the tire is holding up nicely. We skip Death Valley and hit up the Mojave (nice!), Amboy crater (skip it!) and drive through Joshua Tree (where I'm pulled over by a Park Ranger). Lose 6600 feet in altitude before checking into the Wigwam hotel. This was the worst neighbourhood on R66 and when we think on what we left behind just that morning, it's kinda heartbreaking.

Day Eleven: we skedaddle at 0700 to get to LA asap. After a typical heart-clogging breakfast, it takes only about an hour to make it to LA proper. First stop, the observatory for a pic with the Hollywood sign. Then, \wWe grab a too-early lunch at Gordon Ramsay's London, West Hollywood, which is so delish that we clean our plates despite not really being hungry. Then it's off to the Santa Monica pier - it's beautiful and we can't really believe that we're here, after 7774.7 kms!. We take off our shoes for walk along the beach results in being tarred (eww!) before we head back to car to find our hotel and drop off the rental. Unsuccessful attempts at removing the goopy gross black stuff I picked up on the soles of my feet on the beach. I'm afraid my shoes are ruined.

Day Twelve: early start (0500) to start the long trek home. Flying from LA to buffalo via Atlanta (20 minutes to change plane - quickest connection ever). Home by 1900. Exhausted, happy and with no intentions to murder AnCe. Nish or Jadek. Trip declared success!

The Help by Kathryn Stockett

2011-10-05T01:00:00.000-04:00

I had to take a book with me on Route 66 and I chose to bring along Kathryn Stockett's The Help. Did I read it at all while on the Mother Road? Hellz no. What with the average 5 hours of sleep per night and the thousand kilometres of driving a day, let's just say that sleep trumped all other basic needs.

So I read this in the comfort of my bed at home over the entire month of September, with some guilt. See, September's Book Club was a non-fiction selection of our choosing, as long as it answered the question of "why is the world the way it is" in some fashion. I totally cheated and read the Philosophy chapters in An Incomplete Education instead. (it is how I got by at Queen's and it's still how I maintain a my thin veneer of sophistication).

The other major impetus for reading the books was the fact that I wanted to see the movie and I hate reading books after I see the flick.

Anyway! The Help. Spoilers abound below, so take heed.

Even though the cover boldly claims that The Help could be as important as To Kill a Mockingbird, I simply cannot agree. Don't get me wrong - it's a wonderfully written piece of fiction that weaves some really scary history into the narrative and has some really memorable characters. It is a very good read and I can absolutely see the appeal for making the movie. Honestly though, I think it stops too short of the mark. Hilly is a very dangerous character and I expected her to live up to that. But by cutting her off at the knees, it almost makes the powerful southern white racists into comic relief. Stockett does mention the Klan at least a few times and certainly imbues them with terror; however, much like the bogeymen in children's stories, they seem to lack teeth because they never show up in the actual story.

Would any of these maids been allowed to continue as they did were this tale true? Would it have only been prison for stealing silver or spreading all that dirty laundry? I doubt it very much. And while we do have run-ins (a blinded boy, a murdered man) they seem to skirt the edges of the pages, keeping the central characters - and by extension us readers - safe from the bloodiest parts.

So, back to the Mockingbird claim: in my humble opinion, I think not. Lawrence Hill's Book of Negroes deserves this accolade far more. Stockett's novel is much more of a chick flick than class literature. A great bedtime read if you're prone to nightmares.

Now Playing: Drive

2011-10-04T01:00:00.000-04:00

A quick movie review for Drive: it was okay. Ryan Gosling is always great, but even he can't hold up an entire movie. It's not that the premise couldn't work - it could; somehow it just doesn't. Gosling's Driver seems so ... cold and remote. it's very difficult to see him caring about anyone or anything enough to get all wrapped up in the stuff he ends up getting wrapped up in. There are some great sequences too: that pawn shop heist? awesome! And, as I would expect from a movie called Drive, the driving is particularly well done. And on real streets with very real cars... I kinda love that. Should you watch it? Sure, as a rental it may not be bad at all. I expect this will end up on Netflix and that would be best. 3 out of 5 stars.

Now Playing: Contagion

2011-10-03T11:08:00.001-04:00

The day after I came home from the Route 66 Road Trip Extravaganza, I took in Contagion with Jadek. Honestly, it was pretty amazing. Steven Soderberg always surprises me with his pacing and storytelling skills. And with a cast like it had, it's not a surprise that the acting was superb: Winslet's clinical front-line specialist, Law's questionable blogger, Cotillard's conflicted negotiator... all really good.

Really, though, the best part is the execution of the pandemic. How it's the mundane things that will get us in the end - handshakes and kisses, elevator buttons and stair rails. The quick decline of civility when you know it's got to be you or them, your kid or theirs. I liked that the script didn't degenerate into a horror movie, but still kept intact the horror of humans going feral. And I really enjoyed the realistic timeline of it all - no post-apocalyptic swelling of music or dystopian all-is-well - that leads us back to Day One. I spent the entire movie asking "how" and I'm really happy to report that there is an answer. Did I like it? Will you? You'll have to watch the movie to find out.

Which brings me to my biggest complaint: not enough "famous" deaths. More marquee names needed to bite the bullet, I think. In this very realistic story, I thought it just stopped short of the brutality with which this epidemic would have ravaged all people. That's why I'd give Contagion 3.5 out of 5 stars.

didn't see you in September

2011-09-30T16:32:00.002-04:00

Did a whole month really go by without a single post? Yikes!
While I can't promise to be better, I can promise to catch up. I swear I have no less than SEVEN half-finished entries. Oh dear. Check back, post-Oct 3rd!

gettin' my kicks

2011-08-30T00:08:00.000-04:00

On Tuesday, we leave for the one of the last great road trips: Route 66! Spanning nearly 3000 miles (that's 4500 kms for the rest of the world) and taking us the better part of eleven days, we'll be departing Chicago and going west until we hit Santa Monica pier. With so many detours in between, we broke Google Maps, you can see our major pit stops (read; where we bed down) in that picture up top. This is the first adventure for AnCe, Nish, Jadek and myself - four people, one car. Should be interesting at the very least.

Now Playing: One Day

2011-08-28T20:20:00.001-04:00

I'm not usually one to watch girly movies in a theatre, unless it's Oscar season and they're on the list. DK asked to see One Day so I went. First of all, it was kinda nice to see a movie where things didn't blow up without a boy. You know, so if I get all choked up, I don't feel embarrassed. Secondly, there were two young ladies in front of us who were so obnoxiously immature I actually felt compelled to tell them to "shut it or leave" (they shut it).

Anyway: movie. It was okay - these things are either sad or funny, sometimes both, rarely neither. And, predictably, I knew what was going to happen less than a minute into the movie. I really need to stop watching so many movies - most things don't even surprise me any more. Hathaway and Sturgess are great, though I expect nothing less from these two. Everyone else plays their parts. Script wends its way through the emotional roller coaster of a romance. All in all: a rental. 3 out of 5 stars.

Now Playing: Columbiana

2011-08-28T14:04:00.001-04:00

We're hanging out and Jadek says "want to watch a movie" and I'm all "yeah sure, what's out" and he goes "I dunno, nothing I can think of" so we Google it and he's like "what about Columbiana" and I'm like "yeah, I remember that - Luc Besson I think - I like him."

And that's how we came to watch Columbiana on a Saturday afternoon. Zoe Saldana, Cliff Curtis, and Jordi Mollà put in their lines and put their bodies through the paces. Honestly, for a revenge flick, this wasn't too bad at all. Saldana really pulled off an amazing catsuit for the first hit of the movie, which was choreographed beautifully. If they had been going for an Eartha Kitt vibe, Saldana would have made an excellent Catwoman.

The story is much of what I've come to expect from Besson, though I would have preferred his directing to Megaton's style. The action was great - inventive and quick. The opening running sequence with Amandla Stenberg's amazing abilities was reminiscent of Run, Lola, Run (one of my faves) and put her on a list of future action stars (along with Chloe Grace Moretz and Saoirse Ronan).

Unexpectedly fun: 3 out of 5 stars.

Now Playing: Conan, the Barbarian

2011-08-24T09:12:00.022-04:00

Normally, I think I may have passed on watching Conan, the Barbarian - I didn't watch the original, don't really enjoy plotless violence, and, well, it just didn't look very good. There was, however, one very compelling reason for me to go out and watch this: Jason Mamoa. I mean, just LOOK at him. Kripes. I like him with dreads, I like him cleanshaven, with short hair or long; I like him in SciFi, Fantasy and random airport footage; I like that he’s muscly in all the right places and has dimples to boot. I think he’s just about the yummiest thing I’ve seen since… since… I can’t remember the last time I drooled over a Hollywood actor! So, that’s why I went to watch Conan.

What was the movie about? I can’t really remember – it had a lot of plot holes, so it was pretty much incoherent. With a better script writer and director, it would have been halfway decent. The actors (not just mo!mo!ahhhhh….) weren’t too bad at all – pretty much wasted on a poor script. Sadly, I have to give it only 1.5 stars out of 5. As compensation, here are some pics!

On Stage @ Stratford, 2011

2011-08-15T14:47:00.002-04:00

The annual pilgrimage to the Bard's House happened this past weekend, with AnCe and her sister V. Nish, who is currently in the exotic climes of Madagascar, had to give up her tickets, which was both sad and regrettably. This would mark my first non-Nish Stratford. As has become tradition, we checked into Ellerby's for the weekend. Olive is her usual cheerfully spry self and gave us our key on the "Hope Diamond" because we were such pretty girls. *giggles* she really is the cutest. This would also mark my first non-sharing Stratford weekend, as I usually end up splitting a room with Nish. So, I had a double all to myself (which meant one thing... NO PANTS!). Unpacked, freshened up and ready to hit the town! Weather was perfect: sunny, cool breeze, almost no humidity.

Before we left, we made passing introductions with Ted, who was staying in the single at the end of the hall. He would prove to be excellent fun at the breakfast table.

Shades on, stepping out!

Friday lunch in Pazzo Pizzeria (a Soprano Pizza for me!)

Titus Andronicus in Tom Patterson: a little gore and guts in the afternoon! Notably WillyShakes' bloodiest play, it did not disappoint in drama and death. Near the end of the third act, there was a great gasping and wheezing sound near back left seats. What I thought to be a rude patron snoring turned out to be someone having a seizure. Yet another first: they stopped the play in the middle of a most dramatic scene! Actors left, house lights came up, ambulance arrived. Much hullabaloo ensued an patron is just fine. All I could think was that there was no way the actor would be able to pick up where they left off - all that tension had been deflated... but no! These guys aren't pros for nothing and we were right back into. All in all, much fun.

Friday dinner @ Boar's Head Pub (Mushroom and Steak Pot Pie)

The Misanthrope in Festival: having no experience with Moliere's work, I was surprised by two things. 1) everything rhymed - the entire play. 2) There were no set changes - the entire play. It may have been a combination of a carby dinner, a warm theatre (no AC on our side) and a word-heavy, action-light piece of theatre, but I lost consciousness a few times in the first half. I was not alone. I actually think this would have been a better Audio Book.
Tuckered out by the day, we headed to bed.

Saturday lunch @ Downie Street Burgers (Chicken Caesar Salad)

Jesus Christ Superstar in Avon: So I was really really really excited to see this one. Ever since my wish came true for it appear, I've been almost humming with anticipation. And did it ever deliver! Wow. Simply wow. This show is too excellent for words. Honestly, it's going to Broadway, so if you can, get your ticket now to go see it at intimate Avon. I had only one minor criticism (Mary holding Jesus' hand during the lashings) but everything else is simply excellent. From Judas to Jesus, Herod to Pilate... heck, even the backup dancers! Go. See. It.

Saturday dinner @ The Church Restaurant (Roasted Cornish Hen)

Richard III in Tom Patterson: the excellent Seana McKenna dons the Machiavellian Richard's robes for this turn of the play. I thought she was the standout performance, her mannerisms and posture so very convincing. The play itself clocks in at 240 minutes (compared to Jesus' 110) and we felt every second of it.

Yes, it is a verbose play and one of longest and they did try to cut it down with quick-quick scene changes but to no avail. It was long. If it wasn't for Ms. McKenna, I think it would've fallen flat.

Sunday lunch was a picnic on the Avon (Cheese from the Milky Whey, and Bread and Eclair from The Bakery on Pazzo)

Camelot in Festival: another Musical! and another hit! I really enjoyed Arthur and, before she became a philanderer, Guinevere (aka, Ginny). Also, the stage was beautiful, taking full advantage of the beautiful Festival Theatre (Unlike Misanthrope's static treatment). A nice way to end the weekend, despite the rain.

Loot bag: as usual, I bought some books and jewellery. And, I couldn't resist, a new sleepshirt (with Winter's Tale's famous "Exit, pursued by a bear" on the front and, of course, a bear on the back).

Home by 8pm; exhausted. The rest is silence.

Now Playing: Rise of the Planet of the Apes

2011-08-06T12:12:00.036-04:00

Confession: I've watched neither the original nor the Tim Burton "remake" of Planet of the Apes; in fact, everything I know about this iconic movie comes from The Simpsons. So, when I first saw the trailer for Rise of the Planet of the Apes, there was a comical moment where I turned to Jadek and actually said "what is this, Planet of the Apes?" ...and then it was. Clearly, I was going to watch it. I will admit that I was a little leery of yet another remake; however, some franchises just beg to be rebooted - old doesn't necessarily mean gold (despite it rhyming). I am happy to report that this is not a remake.

I was pleased to hear see Andy Serkis got some work - he is his usual awesome self. And I know that the apes were all CGI, yet they were very real and totally convincing. The human actors weren't bad either: loved John Lithgow (unsurprisingly) and James Franco.

Plot-wise, I thought the movie was pretty genius. It actually answered the main questions I've always had: how did the apes kill the humans? how did the apes get so smart? how long did it take for the human/simian roles to switch? I was really satisfied at the end and if this is the beginning of a new franchise, all the better. Go watch it - a great summer movie. 3.5 out of 5 stars.

Now Playing: Cowboys and Aliens

2011-08-02T15:46:00.008-04:00

(Sorry for the weird upload - I needed a placeholder and it decided to just hold the first sentence! Technology continues to confound me.)

So, when I first saw the trailer for Cowboys and Aliens, I thought: "WTF?" Then I thought about the last time Indy hooked up with a Bond-James-Bond and decided to hold my reservations. Besides, the trailer looked pretty good - funny and action-y.

Then I watched C&A. This movie isn't really funny. Like, at all. There's abduction, body mutilations and violations, death, horror... very little comedy (though, I did chuckle a couple of time, I felt guilty doing it). This is a perfect synthesis of Spaghetti Western (with all its over-the-top, anti-hero characters) and Sci-Fi (though not as creepy as the Alien series, a definite contender in the Independence Day realm). Weird thing is, I totally bought it. I totally believed that aliens showed up to harvest humans and gold. Maybe I'm getting a little too good at this suspension of disbelief thing. 3.5 out 5 stars.

Clara Callan by Richard B. Wright

2011-08-02T15:23:00.006-04:00

Last month's Book Club pick was Clara Callan, the 2001 Giller Award winner. I will admit to judging this book by its cover and thinking "oh, God, this looks boring." I was very wrong.

Synopsis: small-town sisters Clara and Nora lead very different lives. Clara is a school teacher in the village of Whitfield, lives alone and is generally living out her days quietly. Nora heads to the Big Apple to pursue her dream of radio stardom, banking on her looks, charm and talent to pave the way for her. Clara worries about Nora in the big city - worries that she will be taken advantage of or will be forced to have her illusions shattered by nasty show business. Sadly, it is Clara who has her world shattered. The story quickly takes unexpected turns, leaving the reader breathless and slightly dazed by what they see unfolding before them.

Written in the fashion of letters and journal entries, I found it fascinating to have Clara and Nora's life stretch out before us almost as it happens, in the moment, despite it being seventy years in the past. Large and small events, both familiar and unbeknownst to us, are treated with the casual air of someone who really is watching it happen without prior knowledge. I was kind of expecting some heavy-handed foreshadowing, but no - just a gentle unfolding. The often jarring stop and start of something - well, that's life isn't it? How does one know that their her entire existence is about to change that afternoon when they wake up and make tea for breakfast?

I really did enjoy Wright's style and wit, his ability to give such unique voices to his characters (I didn't need to read the addresses in the top right corner - I could actually tell who was writing anyway). A wonderful read and a worthy addition to the Giller shelf.

On Stage: The Tea Party @ Sound Academy

2011-08-02T00:46:00.000-04:00

Back in May, I heard a radio ad that made me have to pull over and call AnCe immediately: The Tea Party will be performing at Sound Academy on July 21st. Frantic message-leaving ensued; it sent something like this: "AnCe! I know you're in NYC right now but I just HAD to call you and tell you that the TEA PARTY are playing on July 21st! In some place called Sound Academy? Anyway, you're the biggest Tea Party fan I know, so I thought I'd tell you! Call me when you get back! Sorry for the weird message. I'm stoked! Woohoo!"

Anyway, we're still friends and she was equally excited. So we found ourselves, on the hottest day of the year (decade?) crammed into a standing-room only venue with about 1400 other crazies. we were exhausted, dehydrated and surrounded by equally sticky people. We didn't care. When they took the stage, we were freaking out like we were seventeen-year-olds again! Lost my voice somewhere between Save Me and Temptation.

When it was all over, my jelly legs barely made it to the parking lot. Only later did I realise that there was no Babylon. I think they may have been saving this for the second encore that never came. it was hot; I can't really blame them.

The drive home took almost 2 hours though - the Gardiner on-ramps were ALL closed. I think with the lack of water, the heat and and the ridiculous traffic at 1am, i may have wandered to the edge of madness - thankfully AnCe was there to keep me tethered.

Awesome night!

The Tea Party’s Setlist, July 21st:
1. Writing’s on the Wall
2. The Bazaar
3. Lullaby
4. Psychopomp
5. The Messenger
6. Fire in the Head
7. Correspondences
8. Heaven Coming Down
9. Sun’s Going Down
10. The Halcyon Days
11. Save Me / Last Goodbye
12. Release
13. Temptation
Encore:
14. Sister Awake / Paint It Black

unplanned

2011-08-01T23:29:00.001-04:00

How to have an unplanned weekend:

1) Start Early. I mean, if you can, take Friday off. I did (having worked a Saturday previously) and so I started my weekend on Thursday night.

2) Watch an excellent movie with a cute Muggle.

3) Spend Saturday afternoon hanging out with good friends planning for your next blowout vacation. This time, we bought tickets for our Vegas shows, confirmed our hotels and generally got very excited about driving the length of Route 66.

4) Get last-minute tickets to see a show downtown with your bestie. Afterwards, go to a pub for drinks and confabulation; if the waitress asks for your ID, make a game of it! Ask her how old she thinks you are and then feel really good about the answer for the rest of night.

5) Wake up early on Sunday, jump in the car and head off for an adventure. The crazier the better! If you happen to check off an item on your life to-do list while you're at it? Bonus!

6) Head home for a shower and a quick nap. if you get a call from your parents' asking if you want to go to a favourite Aunt's house for BBQ, say yes! Hang out by the pool, eat heartily and, heck, watch the Women's World Cup final since you're there. Cheer for the underdog; freak out when they win in OT penalty kicks.

7) Join your LilBro for a pay-per-view Wrestling event at the theatre across the street. Relish that, for once, you came in after the previews started and still had a kickass seat saved for you. Totally mark out with the crowd and indulge your secret trailer-trash fantasies.

8) Go home, take a long shower and marvel at your "boring" unplanned weekend. Decide that life really is what happens while you're planning to live it.

wind beneath my wings

2011-08-01T23:15:00.004-04:00

Local adventure seeking brought AnCe and me to a very hot sod farm in St. Jacob's. This was a spontaneous trip, as it was originally Nish and AnCe going, but what with Nish in Madagascar (more on that later, poppets - it's not that I don't want to blog, it's just that I don't have the time to do it), she needed to offload her ticket asap. So, there I am! AnCe and I rock-paper-scissor'ed to see who would go first and I won the honour - so there you see the tiny me! We climbed quite quickly to two-thousand-feet! My instructor was pretty awesome, letting me call the turns and even letting me "fly solo" for a bit. The video is short (we were up there for about 20 mins) but you get the idea.

I continue to live a charmed life, poppets. I must have been a very good girl at some point to have built up such good karma.

On Stage: Hugh Jackman in One Night Only

2011-07-30T10:30:00.000-04:00

I was first introduced to Hugh Jackman via X-Men as the deliciously sexy Wolverine. Fast forward ten years, and I'm watching the same man put on a one-man Broadway show, singing and dancing and making us laugh and cry... what the hell? Am I in some weird bizarro world? (Wait, that's DC). What can I say, Hugh Jackman is awesome! Well, I kinda knew that already, from his turn as Oscar host, which I thought was so brilliant; they need to bring him back. His limited engagement in Toronto ended July 17 (I caught the July 16 show) but I think he may make it to NYC and if he does? Go see it. It was entertaining as heck!

Now Playing: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, part two

2011-07-30T10:05:00.003-04:00

It’s been two weeks since I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, part 2. I have to admit, I wasn’t ready to watch the last movie. Jadek kept saying that, for him, Harry Potter ended four years ago when the last book came out. To some extent, he’s right; however, I will absolutely admit to using the movies a crutch to deal with that loss. Sure, I closed the book in 2007, but I still had lots of Harry to look forward to! Two weeks ago, I was not at all ready to have no more new Harry-ness in my life.

The movie began exactly where the first part left off – no “previously on”, no montage flashback, just go. And go it did! I won't bore you with plot details - suffice it to say, a lot of stuff happens. Quickly. Brutally. Characters live, they die; they succeed triumphantly; they slink off cowardly; bad things happen; good things happen. And then it all ends. Through it all, the audience was almost reverent. It was the quietest movie I'd seen in a long time (despite the giants, magical duels and stuff blowing up) and I found it hard to keep my pathetic little sobs to myself. With the lights coming up and me still fumbling for a tissue (where are the days when boys had handkerchiefs?), I think I was still in denial about it all.

I watched the movie again, 4 days later with AnCe. I'm not a movie-talker (despite what Nish says, which is funny, because I think we've seen two movies together in the theatre) and so I was pulled right back in. Only a few less tears this time, and I could really focus on the scenes that went by too quickly the first time. And when it was all over? STILL not ready to let it go.

As a movie: this was pretty good. I can't really think of a better way that they could have wrapped it all up. Movie fans (but not book readers) I think may be confused by some parts, but that's always been the downfall of the movies when compared to the books. As book-readers, I think we filled in where necessary and tapped into the emotions we remember having as we read these passages for the first time. Yes, I think the whole series is worth watching; yes I think it's difficult not to rate this movie as a series finale instead of a standalone movie. I would give this entire experience a 5 out of 5 stars. And I'm sorry poppets, that I cannot disengage myself enough to look at part 2 on its own.

***
Some notes (and spoilers):
- I watched HP7b in 3D the first time and in normal the second. Being a 'dark" movie - one that takes place mostly outside and at night, I found the normal version quite dark in comparison to the 3D. This could have the particular screen I was watching, but anyway, I thought I'd mention it.
- Christopher Columbus from Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone needs to be rewarded handsomely. His insistence on having Radcliffe cast has really made this series. In fact, the entire cast is a real work of art. When we see Hermione in her Bellatrix disguise (basically, Helena Boham-Carter playing at being Hermione in disguise), it was just brilliant - her mannerisms and facial expressions! I could actually see Emma Watson in Bonham-Carter's face! And who would have seen that awkward Neville grow into such a brave man? The cast, really, couldn't have been better.
- Dumbledore finally comes into his own and we get to see the funny, charming, witty headmaster that I've longed for since Richard Harris passed away.
- Snape's death scene was just perfect.
- Happy 31st Birthday, Harry (one day early).

For those of you who haven't watched the movies (or read the books) because you think all this hype is just exhausting, I think you're doing yourselves a disservice. I find the stubborn refusal to do something solely on the grounds that it's popular just as silly as doing things for that purpose alone. The books are amazing - they literally turned a whole generation back on to reading. I cannot tell you the amount of little children I watched reading the tome (Order of the Phoenix) when it first came out - these same children who for years we've been led to believe couldn't read more than a few pages a time, needed pictures to make it interesting and had to have simple words only. If nothing else, read the books - they are truly magical. The movies? They're like a treat, getting to watch the characters step off the page and on to a big screen. It's too bad that latecomers to the book series will be "spoiled" by the images from the movies, but as Dumbledore would say, alas.

Now Playing: Transformers: Dark of the Moon

2011-07-27T18:10:00.000-04:00

Short review: Dark of the Moon wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Actually, of the series, this may have been the best one. Despite the weird Pink Floyd reference (but not), the movie was peppered with neat bits - like Buzz Aldren and Megatron's cape and toppling skylines. Should you make an effort to watch it if youhaven't bothered with the other two? No. 2.5 out of 5 stars.

Now Playing: Green Lantern

2011-07-03T12:52:00.000-04:00

God, I watched Green Lantern weeks ago. It was nothing to write home about. In fact, a lot of it didn't really make sense to me. I should probably write a review eviscerating it, but that's so much effort for a movie that barely didn't suck. The worst part was that it was boring. You know, superhero movies have come a long way. Now, we don't just expect a godo fight scene, we expect drama, comedy, plot. Lantern really didn't deliver on any counts. I'd give it 2 out of 5 stars. Harsh, I know.

funny shit my dad says (that i share and others judge)

2011-06-27T21:09:00.004-04:00

Yesterday, I posted the following two conversations on facebook as my status:

Dad: I could be a top chef.
Mom: Oh yeah? What's a truffle?
Dad: ...Cake.
Mom: What?
Dad: You know, the opposite of trifle.

Dad: listen, I want to get your Mom something nice for her birthday.
Me: okay, you got any ideas?
Dad: yeah, channel 5.
Me:... you want to get her the TV Guide?
Dad: No! The perfume!
Me: ...Chanel? No. 5?
Dad: that's what I said.

Most people got a good laugh out of it (as did we at the time of the actual conversation). If there's anything my dad appreciates, it's a joke. So, everyone chuckles, people choke on lettuce, whatever. and then I get the snide comment (from one of my older cousins) "I am smarter than my parents..."

WTF?

Who said I meant that? it was funny play on words. Both times. Like the time I mixed up Carniverous with Coniferous. I swear, some people can suck the joy out of anything. This is one of the reasons I really hate having family on Facebook.

Now Playing: X-Men: First Class

2011-06-06T11:13:00.000-04:00

Yes, another prequel. At least it isn't a reboot. For a blockbuster franchise, X-Men: First Class was actually done quite well. Can a brawny blockbuster be brainy too?

Plot-wise, the writers tried to keep some sense of continuity with the original movie trilogy. I mean, the opening scene is almost directly lifted from a previous iteration. I loved the cameo appearances of some big-name recognisable actors from the other previous movies as well. One glaring mistake is centred, however, around Emma Frost. In fact, it’s so obvious, I can only say that it was intentional. I’m sure you’ve seen the ubiquitous shots of January Jones playing Emma Frost as an adult contemporary of Charles and Erik; yet, there was a diamond-esque mutant names Emma (Kayla’s sister) in the Wolverine movie. I don’t think the timeline quite adds up. I’m sure Bryan Singer knows what he’s doing… this is huge, though. They’ll need to address it for sure.

Casting has always been excellent in these movies and, with the exception of the wooden acting of Ms. Jones, it is once-again outstanding. James McAvoy is a very convincing Charles Xavier and Michael Fassbender is just about perfect for Erik Lehnsherr. Jennifer Lawrence, who stole my heart in Winter’s Bone, continues to impress as Raven. And Kevin Bacon? …who saw that coming! Even he was pretty good as crazy bad guy Sebastian Shaw.

All in all, really, a solid movie – entertaining and clever. 3.5 our of 5 stars.

Now Playing: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

2011-05-31T10:30:00.000-04:00

As a rule, I’m pretty leery of open-ended movie “franchises” that go past three films; they always remind me of those bad 80’s movies. So, when I saw they’re making a Pirates of the Caribbean 4 (On Stranger Tides), I audibly groaned. Is there anything left for them to tap? Having just rewatched the original Pirates trilogy, I thought they had pretty much covered the good stuff. I was wrong.

Let me get the negative stuff out of the way: there was no Orlando Bloom. I really thought there’d be at least a cameo – I mean, he’s Davy Jones! But, no. Really, that’s it.

Ian McShane as Blackbeard has to be one of the most inspired casting moves ever (though, I’m sure Shrek had something to do it). The man oozes menace and charisma … in other words, the perfect pirate. Penelope Cruz as his daughter Angelica was great as well; she’s one of the few actors I know who can be silly and sexy all at once… the perfect love interest for Captain Jack. It was nice to see Gibbs back (but no others? Sad). Also, Gilette is back – you may remember him saying the prophetic mermaid line to Ms. Swann (though maybe not, as that would have been eight years ago).

The mermaids storyline is pretty awesome. These mermaids are the best mermaids ever – they are beautiful, relentless, vicious and tough as barracudas. No Ariels here. Seriously, I see a whole new movie franchise opportunity: Mermaids! Vampires of the Sea! They come out at night, they burn in the sun, they have fangs… loved them.

All in all, a good movie. Entertaining and, despite being #4, surprising. 4 out of 5 stars.

34th & 6th

2011-05-21T19:49:00.001-04:00

This is the scene in front of me: my clothes are laid out out on my suitcase, drying out from being caught in a crazy, electric thunderstorm while wandering down Lexington from Central Park; Victoria Secret pink stripes, Macy's red, Daffy's yellow and Little Brown Bags are littered about, with frothy nothings spilling out; Ellie, the cat, is sprawled at the foot of the bed, having just snuggled us hello. The last two days have been spent in a way that I can only imagine living in New York would be spent. I've eaten, shopped and caught some shows... but really it's the stuff in between that makes the trip (so far) so fun.

But first, we had to get here and that in itself was enough of an adventure. Our flight was at 0630 and so we left at 0500 to get there for sixty minutes before departure (as recommended). Without getting into all the details, let's just say that the Lady and Fog made it so we didn't arrive in NYC until almost 1400. After dropping off our stuff off at our "hotel" (read as: picked up the key to ExPat's place), we walked up ten blocks to pop into my cousin's restaurant for lunch, before heading down to Macy's for some light perusing. By the time we actually met up with ExPat, it was time for dinner, and headed up to the NYC institution, ShakeShack in Madison Square Park. Some of the most delicious burgers ever were found there. Bedtime was perfect and I slept for 10 hours, uninterrupted even by a blow-up air mattress pump at 2am.

Friday dawned and we were determined to finish Macy's and Daffy's before getting ready for our night at Birdland Jazz Lounge. A brunch at my cousin's fueled us for a marathon eight hours of shopping, where the hunt for a dress went unfulfilled, but a new briefcase was had. We did however, meet our first first shaman, who foretold good luck for me on August 13, and October 21 for Nish. Shower, change and off to Birdland! Made acquaintances with the Connecticut commuters, got mistaken for a party waiting for Paul Eddington (sp?) and bore witness to a family drama (featuring a lechy dad, a bored son and a confused mom), all while taking in an excellent Brazilian Jazz show. Stumbled home. Sleep.

Today, we ate at Grimaldi's, drank at Forty Carrots (Bloomingdales) and made merry on Lexington. Now? Typing, in my jammies, waiting to see what Saturday Night in NYC will hold for us. Not bad for a trip that's cost $300 so far and has had no pre-plans at all.

Now Playing: Priest

2011-05-16T23:16:00.003-04:00

Sometimes, I don't know what makes me do it. Is it the proximity to the theatre? The super-cheap tickets? The lack of alternative entertainment? I don't know. What I do know is that I spent a Friday afternoon watching Priest, starring the under-utilised Paul Bettany and kickassery of Maggie Q. (Did you know that Q is the new Nikita? I was doubtful of her ability to replace Peta Wilson; I no longer doubt.) The movie was not good. Again, I don't know why, really. The special effects were decent, the storyline, while thin, was okay and you really couldn't get a cooler bad guy than Karl Urban. It just felt... rushed. Lots of things were glossed over, like is this the past or the future or an alternate reality or an alternate past what? And what happens when you get infected - do you become a vampire or a familiar? And why, in a world of vampires, would a city decide on a design that didn't maximise sunlight? The movie does not hold up to analysis. 2 out 5 stars.

small fries

2011-05-16T09:10:00.004-04:00

If you can imagine it, imagine this: a woman writes you a letter and in it she says that her and her family will be moving to Canada in six months. You don't really know this woman. You are somehow related, since her husband is the youngest child of your youngest aunt, neither of whom you've met. You being the oldest child of the oldest sibling, there's over thirty years between you and this woman. She writes in her letter that they don't know anyone in Canada and is asking for your help - could you recommend a place to stay? someone to call? ...How would you know? You've been living here for over twenty-five years. You have a crazy idea and, as you look around your two-bedroom condo on the quiet side of the DVP, you decide to talk to your wife about it when she gets home from work. You're retired, she's about to and you have a new home in Barrie that is going to be your retirement present to yourselves. That night, after dinner, you pen a letter back to the woman and tell her your crazy idea: why not come and stay with us?

I have no idea what my Uncle Len was thinking when he extended that offer to my mom, my dad, me and my (still a baby) brother. The only reason my mom had his address was because she had been polite enough to send Thank-You cards to everyone who so much as RSVP'd to their wedding. As a result, she was in regular correspondence with my Uncle Len, whose distinctive "ruler-writing" made his letters so recognisable. In his later years, that writing would be the only part of him that didn't give in to age. He and dad were indeed first cousins, but had never so much as exchanged words on the telephone (not like we had a telephone to make this easy). And when we arrived at the airport, it was Uncle Len who recognised our young family first.

I have no idea what made him take us in. Their condo was so posh, I remember thinking. My dad had a slightly panicked look when he saw all the very breakable and stain-able furniture and had begun to pre-empt any future incidents by hissing to us just not to touch anything. at all. ever. What would LilBro know about that? He was barely eighteen months old and everything was so gosh-darned pretty. Uncle Len's gentle "no-no-no" while moving my brother's hand from the lamp to a toy is an indelible memory from those two weeks we spent living with them.

Yes, it was only two weeks. Remember that house in Barrie? Well, it was move-in ready for September first and the Don Mills condo had been sold. They offered for us to come and live with them up there (how different life may have been!) but told us truthfully that jobs would be scarce. Not ten days after meeting us, Uncle Len met our first Canadian landlord and stood as a guarantor for our lease, because no one was willing to take a chance on this young, unemployed couple so fresh-off-the-plane, they were still jet-lagged. Mom and dad didn't disappoint.

Over the years, Uncle Len became like a surrogate grandfather and cool older uncle rolled into one. I had lost three of my four grandparents already and my Dada was quite frail by the time he, too, passed, five years later. Uncle Len bought me my first Bible (first communion), Scrabble board (tenth birthday) and thesaurus (the last Christmas in Scarborough). More importantly, he was a role model for my dad and (later I found out) would always stick up for us when my parents were being particularly harsh. He's the reason I was allowed to attend sleepovers when I was little, a concept completely lost on my parents. He was very good to my brother too - taught him to play pool, gave him his cue (a beauty named Matilda) and christened him Small Fry (the junior version of Frenchie, my dad).

Uncle Len showed us with every action and gesture what it meant to be a classy, dignified and decent human being. When he moved to London, it became difficult to see him more than once or twice a year; but, it felt good just to know he was around, to see his ruler-writing on birthday cards and notes tucked into random gifts he would send (badminton rackets and coffee mugs came with a note saying that I'd need both while away at university and, if I changed my mind, Western wasn't too far away from their place).

I have no idea what he was thinking on Friday night when, surrounded by family and in his daughter's arms, he slipped away from us peacefully. Typically, he had done it on his own terms, having already arranged for the funerary services, having just taken his last rites, having waited for the whispered words "you can go dad; I'll take care of mom" before sighing his last. I hope, whatever it was, that he knew just how loved and honoured he was, just how much he touched all our lives and just how safe and comforted he made a little girl feel when he said "welcome home" on a hot August afternoon more than twenty years ago. Goodbye Uncle Len.

Now Playing: Thor

2011-05-09T10:53:00.000-04:00

The latest in Marvel's Avengers line-up: Thor. I really wasn’t expecting too much, at first. I mean, Thor isn’t exactly as famous as his compatriots. Then, the review began filtering in and it was very positive and I thought “well, at least it will be entertaining.” You know what? It really is. First of all, what great casting in Chris Hemsworth: he’s huge, he’s handsome, he’s charming, he’s capable of personal development… everything you want in a superhero! Also, a splendid idea to cast slightly shorter actor around, which only accentuates his large-but-proportionalness. And since we’re talking about casting: hello Tom Hiddleston! That guy was awesome! I also really enjoyed the multicultural casting which allowed for an excellent Idris Elba to helm Heimdall – I now can’t picture anyone else doing it.

So, plot. I don’t know a thing about Superhero Thor, but I do know lots about Norse Legend Thor. If you know the legends, then many of the surprises will not be very surprising. Having said that, however, the explanations for the plot twists are intriguing and “new” so there’s still lots to be audiences hanging. Technically speaking, the movie was pretty cool too. Einstein-Rosen Bridge = Bifrost? I bought it – and the special effect really helped to sell it.

I have give Marvel serious kudos – they are on their way to making this Avengers adventure really epic. Can’t wait for the next instalment. 4 out of 5 stars.

epic fail, Canada

2011-05-03T12:17:00.003-04:00

So, last night Canada made history: we, the people, elected the first EVER party to be found in contempt of Parliament. Way to go, guys. Way to go.

Frankly, I'm not even sad about having the Liberals being decimated to 34 seats - really, we've seen worse defeats that have had no effect on the party's standing later. Then again, when the Conservatives kept only only two seats after the Mulroney era and under Kim Campbell, the Liberals didn't yank their funding. I doubt we can expect such fair play when it comes to Harper's Tories.

I still don't think Conservative voters know what the word "Conservative" means - it does not mean spending money into a deficit just so big business can continue to make a profit in recession times and it certainly does not mean being found in contempt of Parliament. Harper is a megalomaniac who wears blue because he needs a recognisable party to hide his REFOOOOORM ideas - John A. is spinning is his grave at having his great party become much a divisive and polarising entity. Heck, if it wasn't for his ludicrous rich-get-richer platform, I would be a Conservative voter! Small Government, no tax hikes... yeah, I can get behind that. But, really, who has an extra $5000 for a TFSA after paying taxes, RRSPs, your mortgage and groceries? I know who - people making $150000+. And that's his priority, not you or me or the rest of us middle class schmucks who keep the engine of this economy running.

Frankly, people will see it for what it is, just as they did after Mulroney (seriously, TWO seats in Parliament... how quickly we forget) and just as they did after Mike Harris. Now is not the time to whine and complain about the democratic process - now is the time to remain vigilant and remind the Conservatives of what exactly the word "democratic" means. We have a fairly strong Official Opposition in the NDP - let's give them the support they need to do their job to keep Harper in check.

Now Playing: Fast Five

2011-04-30T11:27:00.000-04:00

It’s been a long time since I stood in line for a movie, but there I was on a Friday Night, averaging about 10 years senior to most of my fellow moviegoers, an hour before the show time… standing in line. I recently (re) watched the entire Fast & Furious franchise and so was excited to see the fifth (and penultimate) instalment, starring most of the original cast. Given the source material, I wasn't disappointed. The franchise has definitely evolved from a car chase aficionado’s wet dream to a more complex international professional carjacking operation, run by a Robin Hood band of Merry Men (and Women). For a mere action movie, this series really does its best to keep continuity and consistency of character in mind when planning elaborate plotlines that sometimes stretch the suspension of disbelief.

In short: it’s good.

Orignals Vin Diesel, Paul Walker and Jordana Brewster are back along with extended Furious family members including Ludacris, Gal Gadot and, my favourite, Sung Kang. This time, they’re operating out of Brazil, still on the run from the American feds, running out of money and geography. One bad call places them in the sights of a very angry Special Agent (Dwayne Johnson) and necessitates the need for a fast plan and faster cars. Good times ensue.

Should you watch this movie? Not unless you’ve watched the other four, otherwise half the dialogue won’t make sense. I can’t rate the series, but this movie was a solid 4 out of 5 stars. Can’t wait for #6.

Now Playing: Source Code

2011-04-12T12:07:00.000-04:00

So, Source Code (Jake Gyllenhaal, Vera Farmiga). It was an okay film. I thought repeating the same eight minutes over and over again would be annoying, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Everything was pretty average, from acting to scripting to movie effects. I'm going to give it a 3 out of 5 stars.

Spoiler Alert! No seriously, I can't continue talking about Source Code without talking about the spoilers. So, if you care about that sort of thing, do not read any further.

Really.

I'm not kidding.

Okay....

Ever watch a show called Quantum Leap? Well, Source Code is like the movie adaptation of it. Except it never says that (though, thoughtfully, they allow Scott Bakula a nice voice cameo). There's even a military connection. Anyway, plot-wise it was okay until the last minute "twist" of parallel timelines that actually intersect with each other. See, I totally bought that the Captain goes back to relive the last eight minutes of some guy's life in order to prevent a bombing. That's what Source Code is - an interactive memory print that allows people to solve a crime but not to alter reality because, by definition, the Code is a memory-print. Instead, they decided to go the alternate universe route, which only make for a confusing mess. This "hole" is the only reason i didn't give this movie a 4 out 5 - it actually unravelled itself completely!

At least they've set themselves up for infinite sequels to get it right.

Now Playing: Hanna

2011-04-12T11:54:00.000-04:00

Watched Hanna on Sunday; I hadn't even heard of the movie until I caught a preview for it on the flight back from Cuba. Or, perhaps I had, but blocked it as one its "stars" is Eric-Fucking-Bana. Since i didn't recognise him on the tiny air-plane screen, I just liked it without hating him and thus relegating the movie to the "no" pile.

On to the movie, which I actually liked, despite EFB's presence. Possibly because he wasn't in it as much as I'd feared or because Cate Blanchett and Saiorse Ronan's combined awesomeness overpowered his stink or because I really really liked the soundtrack. Anyway, it was good. It wasn't great, but it was good.

Plot-wise, it wasn't too bad. Clearly, this is written to be open-ended, perhaps even franchise-starting. Great casting in Ronan/Blanchett, who could almost be related (spoiler? twist? you'll see...). The choice to keep things as ambiguous as possible until the very last moment is also a great one - I mean, i had no idea where they were, who they were or even when they were. Very edgy and suspenseful.

The most vibrant and tense character of this film, however, goes uncredited: the soundtrack. The Chemical Brothers do for Hanna what the Dust Brothers for Fight Club: make it awesome! I have already listened to the soundtrack on loop and it's still fantastic.

So, should you watch it? Yeah, probably, but don't hurt yourself hurrying. I think you can even watch this one at home, as I didn't get the sense that it was relying too much on big picture (though the soundscape would benefit from 5.1 setup, for sure. 3 out of 5 stars.

Now Playing: Sucker Punch

2011-04-10T20:24:00.001-04:00

Whoops. Forgot to review Sucker Punch when I watched it a couple of weeks ago. That should give you some idea of how excited I am about it. Given Zack Snyder’s track record, I was absolutely expecting something beautiful. And perhaps that’s where we should start – with the beautiful parts. Visually, this movie is stunning. I really loved the 300-esque feel that the entire movie had – gritty, stylised and vaguely sexy. (We’ll talk more about the vague parts of this). Everybody and everything has a grimy sheen to it that achieves the amazing dual purposes of looking both appealing and revolting. Except the girls. They seem to shine and remain generally untouched by the ugliness surrounding them. Could this be on purpose? A commentary of the inherent innocence of these girls being locked up and being mistreated?

Well, I doubt it. Apart from the neat progression in time (samurai to medieval to WWI to some undisclosed planet with two moons) which somehow denotes Baby Doll’s evolution as a fighter (I think), and the pretty awesome soundtrack, most of the movie really confused me. I mean, okay, I understand the brothel (and the subsequent escape from it) as some sort of metaphor for Baby Doll’s escape attempts from the asylum; but what was with the dancing-as-fighting thing?

Which brings me to the stuff I didn’t like – which, sadly, was the rest of it. It all feels so contrived. We need a victim escapist fantasy? Let’s get an evil stepfather to lock our heroine into an asylum. Need sexy outfits? Well straitjackets won’t do, so let’s make the escapist fantasy take place in a brothel. But how, oh, how can we get hookers (sorry, excuse me, dancers) to into awesome fight scenes? Well, we have to make the dancing seem fighting. And heck, throw in a musical number at the end.

I almost wish I could have just watched this movie in mute and made up my own story.

Well, so what to rate it? It was pretty and the fight scenes were great; despite the exploitive feel, even the outfits were awesome. But, in the end, I’m left unimpressed. I would say rent it, but that may compromise the visual effects; paying full price may compromise your wallet. Your call. 2.5 out of 5 stars.

Cuba

2011-04-08T16:08:00.003-04:00

This was my average day in Cuba.

0830: wake up
0900: breakfast (with mimosas)
1000-1130: ocean swim
1130-1300: dry off on a lounger; read a book
1300-1500: lunch (with sangrias)
1500-1600: read/nap (with mojitos)
1600-1700: ocean/pool swim
1700: random activities**
1800-1900: get ready for dinner (fancy dress!)
1900: pre-dinner cocktails in the lobby bar (more mojitos)
1930-2100: dinner
2100-2300: post-dinner cocktails in the lobby bar, listen to the band, plays a few hands of hearts.
2300-2359: read
0000: sleep
**= archery, skeet shooting, catamaran riding, pool-volleyball, salsa/rumba/mambo lessons, etc.

Some nights we went to a show instead of post-dinner cocktails; some nights we went to a disco. Most nights, I was happy with Blue Hawaiians, Mudslides and Pina Coladas. The resort was pretty amazing - we felt safe enough to leave our cameras/books/towels on the poolside loungers while we wandered off to the ocean or to lunch. Clothes were hung to dry on the patio (to take advantage of that morning sun).

We did get into Havana for a day, which was amazing. It was like stepping into a time warp - old cars, old houses and old architecture. Except that none of this stuff was museum quality. People were living in abandoned mansions, squatting in what used to be the Bacardi rum factory and tending goats on the Capitol lawns.

And the people? Here's a country that knows what it means to be a service industry. They are warm, friendly and, somehow, genuine. They go out of their way to accommodate you and most times will do so for no compensation to them. Tips, as we were told, are appreciated but it would be impolite for anyone to ask for them. Our Breakfast/Lunch waitress (whose name I could not pronounce for the life of me) was so sweet. She found us on our last day (as we were heading back from the lobby bar) and said she wasn't going to be with us for breakfast the next day so she wanted to say goodbye: hugs and kisses all around.

Considering how I usually spend my vacation time, I was really worried that a do-nothing vacation would be boring. It really wasn't. Between the salty ocean, the random activities, Havana and the food... I was amused. And, for the first time, rested upon return. Would I do it again? Sure! In deference to my need to see everything, though, I will probably go to Belize next.

The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield

2011-04-05T10:44:00.000-04:00

I have been neglecting Book Club reads for the last two months, ashamedly. Instead, I've been indulging in yet another re-read of the Harry Potter series (which never fails to hook, line and sink me into reading oblivion). Since I went to Cuba, however, I took with me this month's pick: The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield.

In a neat blend of Victorian and Gothic literary styles (a hated and beloved genre, respectively), The Tale is quite the surprise. I had expected a Zafón-esque adventure; I had expected a Brooks-ian love letter to readers. What I got was a little of both and much more: a romantic mystery, full of plot twists and shocks, that were satisfying and terrifying. When I read "beneath my fingers, the handle to the third room began to turn of its own accord" (p.133), my breathing went distinctly shallow. Not since James' "The Turn of the Screw" have I been equally enamoured and petrified by the words I was reading.

I have very little to critique. The plot is engaging, the characters grotesquely real, the diction compelling. And yet, if I must find something to criticise, I would say that it is Setterfield's determination to leave no thread unknotted, applying reality and fantasy in equal measure to answer burning question. Would I have left something out? Would I have liked some stone to remain unturned and therefore tantalisingly mysterious? I don't know - we shall have to discuss at Book Club. Clearly, it is a novel that stays with you, as even I can see echoes of it in my own prose.

Read it! Especially if you are visiting the Moors!

DVD: Walking Dead

2011-03-18T11:54:00.000-04:00

A zombie TV-series? In a world of vampire slayers and ghost whisperers, it was inevitable. AMC’s Walking Dead, based off the monthly Image comics, came out on BD last week and so, of course, a marathon ensued! AnCe, LilBro, Jadek and myself curled up on a lazy Sunday afternoon to down all 6 episode in one shot. Not a hard feat, it turns out. The show is excellent! Just enough blood guts and gore to keep it interesting and never veering away from its real strength: solid character development. Sure, some of the “twists” weren’t as surprising for the discerning viewer, but that was really besides the point.

I really like that there’s stuff to talk about afterwards, you know? I anticipate the Great Whispers Debate all summer. And I also like that there’s a solid deviation from the comic books, so fans will have some surprises to still look forward to. It was a lot fun and a lot of scary. I recommend it!

Now Playing: Battle: Los Angeles

2011-03-18T11:16:00.000-04:00

It took me a long time to actually sit down and write this review. It’s not because I have little to say; it’s because I have too much. Let’s get right to it then.

When someone comments about the unrealistic portrayal of something, especially in big-budget action movies, I’m usually the first to sarcastically quip back: ”are you saying that movie are not an accurate depiction of real-life?!”; I take the eye-rolling in stride. So, no, I don’t expect Zombies to be biologically viable with real science or to be able to blow up asteroids with real physics or even people to fall in love in crazy circumstances – but I do expect to suspend my disbelief with ease. For example: Zombies that are undead due to a haunted cemetery? Difficult. Zombies as a result of viral studies on chimpanzees? Done!

Then comes Battle: Los Angeles. Can I believe that an alien race discovers a resource-rich planet that they intend to colonise and will kill all the pests (read: humans) in order to do so? Yes. No problem. Which I why I was pretty excited to be watching the movie: I thought it was going to be all District 9 meets Independence Day! It started off really well – there were moments of genuine suspense and humour, as there should be in a good action flick. The characters were pretty good, though perhaps a bit too much of a caricature. I did enjoy that they took the time to introduce everyone name in an attempt to feel for them later. And if you’d asked me as soon as the credits rolled, what I would rate the film, I would have said 3.5 to 4 stars. Not bad!

Where it all falls apart is during the obligatory nacho analysis (you know, you go for nachos afterwards and dissect movie, arguing the pseudo-scientific facts). I tried to be as fair as possible, approach the movie from a formulaic standpoint. Here are the givens of the movie (spoilers ensue):

1) All the attack point were major coastal metropolises: Paris, London, LA, San Diego, San Francisco, NYC, etc.
2) The spaceships slowed down before hitting the water (i.e., slower than terminal velocity)
3) The ships had very sophisticated drone technology that tracked RF waves as well as human movement and sound.
4) The ships’ fuel is water.
5) The aliens were hostile.
6) The aliens had some serious armour with cybernetics fused to their bodies and a very small kill-box (to the left of where the human heart would be).
7) The aliens had some form of community, as there were moments where you could see them carrying off their dead or assisting the injured among them
8) The weapons were plasma- or acid-based, given the burns that resulted from being hit by one of them.
...In order to know where to hit us, the aliens would have had to observe us for some time. They didn’t hit just anywhere. No sir, they hit major metropolises that were not just human population havens but also electrical and communication powerhouses. I proposed they would have had to observe us for quite some time; Jadek posited that not really, since just watching the Earth at night would give you where the major human holdouts are. Fair enough. Either way, they would have already been here for some time before the attack and would know our major Achilles heel when it comes to Space Invasion: we have no weapons in space. I mean, yeah, we can resist you here on earth with our tanks and our guns and our bombs (oh my) but if you get us out in orbit, well, we’re pretty much toast. So why – why why why! – would any self-respecting alien race ever land on earth when they could blow us to kingdom come from space?!

Jadek tried – he really did – to make a case for them. Maybe they’re not that much more advanced than we are. Maybe they don’t have very good space weaponry either. (They don’t need to, they could use the plasma weapons they already demonstrate as having and shoot from space). Maybe they don’t have very good brakes (they sure do, they stopped their terminal velocity before hitting the water). Maybe they have a sophisticated space launch system (as opposed to space flight system) and so they need gravity or some solid object to stop against (you’re saying an extra-solar alien race, capable of launching themselves several light years at a very small target cannot alter their trajectory a couple of kilometres in order to stop outside our atmosphere as opposed to within it?) Maybe their advance force were, like, the dregs of their culture and they don’t care if they live or die as long as they secure their target (sure, they spend all these fuel resources – resources so precious they attack planets to secure some – but won’t spend a few extra ship resources to secure the ground before letting their dregs-infantry out?).

Anyway, as you can read, I was unconvinced and the more the talked about it the quicker it all fell apart. So plot-wise, it was a bust. Were the special effects at amazing? Not really – most of it moved too quickly to focus on and what we did see was pretty generic CGI stuff. We’ve seen better.

I would rent it, if you must. And don’t question it. 2.5 out of 5 stars.

Now Playing: The Adjustment Bureau

2011-03-07T13:26:00.001-05:00

Besides by barely concealed love for a beautiful suit-and-fedora combo, I was really looking forward to The Adjustment Bureau. Seems like smart sci-fi/parallel universe movies are making a comeback (thank you, Inception!) and I, for one, am ecstatic about it. It’s nice to be able to watch movies that are both visually and intellectually stimulating. As a movie, this was pretty decent. I especially liked Emily Blunt (is she one of the most under-rated actresses out there right now or what?)
Besides the running and the quick scene changes and the other various technical wizardry happening, there’s also a great dialogue also occurring. On one of my favourite theme, to boot: Free Will. Do we have it? Should we have it? If there was a beneficent Chairman out there who could control our destinies, would it be better if he/she/it took care of that, considering Humanity’s track record? If there isn’t – are we fucked? Will humanity ultimately choose to be good social creatures or bad selfish ones? Can we be good selfish creatures? Bad social creatures? Is this really what this movie is about? Questions!

Also: there’s a lot of NYPL in there – I mean a LOT. I kept being reminded of the Borges quote (I, too, have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library). So, of course, it got many extra points for that.

All in all, fun. A great start to March Madness. 4 out of 5 stars.

all quiet

2011-02-19T14:59:00.000-05:00

Poppets. I know, I have been reticent of late. It has not been because I haven't had anything happening; rather, it has been for want of time. So, here I sit.

I have been immersed in revisiting old friends in the form of books (am re-reading the Harry Potter series), television (am watching Nikita and rewatching X-Files) and computer games (Marpesia has been questing post-Cata and is making decent progress). I've also been decluttering my little home, getting rid of unnecessary things and reorganising what's left. All of this coupled with catching up for the Oscars and pretty much most of my spare time is pretty much spoken for.

I've also started my new job, managing a team of which I was once a part (see? good grammar doesn't necessarily mean pretty grammar). It's been ... different. My first day: there was no one there, no one to welcome me or tell me where I should hang my coat or anything. What a change from the large sparkly sign that awaited me at Sheridan or the little coffee cup that sat on my desk in Children's. Anyway, I have since moved offices anyway, so it hardly matters. But that's the kind of team I have now.

This weekend, at least, I will have spent an evening with Jadek, socialised with some SociaLits, danced all night with some of my favourite people and enjoyed a meal with the family. Then, it's back to work. Long-term things I'm looking forward to: Cuba, Stratford, Route 66!

Thank you, poppets, for still visiting.

DG's Oscar Roundup

2011-02-13T15:10:00.001-05:00

This was the weekend to catch up on all those Oscar movies I missed. So, without further ado!

Toy Story 3
I actually watched the entire franchise in one go, since Jadek hadn't watched them yet. The third movie is miles better, and not just in terms of the technology (which is a given) but also in terms of a maturity in thematic storytelling. That scene with Andy and Bonnie? I wanted to go and hug all my toys! It was definitely a cute movie. I am still a little flabbergasted that this got an Oscar nod and something like Never Let Me Go was passed over, but it is the highest grossing animated movie of all time, so there's that. It was solid, but I would never have watched it were it not for the Oscars. 3.5 out 5 stars.

The Kids Are All Right
I was worried that this was one of those movie that was being given a lot of credit due to it being a "lesbian" movie. I'm happy to type that the whole lesbian thing is just a part of the story and doesn't seem to takeover the whole movie. In fact, this was just a really good story, full of complicated emotions, complex characters and a great script. I'm not sure if Annette Bening really needs to be in the Best Actress category (and I certainly don't think she should be winning) as I thought her portrayal was a bit weepy. Almost like she was trying to soften up Nic and could only do so through tears. 4 out of 5 stars.

Winter's Bone
Wow, now here is a seriously under-rated movie. I was on-edge (where the hell IS Jessup?) and had this knot in my stomach the entire time. And Jennifer Lawrence! Where did she come from? She's like young Renee Zellweger, but not annoying and can act! Also: John Hawkes. I had no idea he was in this movie, and I've loved him since Deadwood. He is his usual amazing self. He could give Christian Bale a run for his money. Seriously, great film: 4.5 out of 5 stars.

***

Bonus Content: Never Let Me Go
Why didn't this amazing movie get nominated for Best Picture? It was so well done, with great acting, pacing, directing and scripting. I blame the Oscars' inherent bias against Sci-Fi, though I would barely consider it as such. And while Inception made it in, I think it's mostly due to its box office gross earnings. Anyway: 4.5 out of 5 stars.

Now Playing: 127 Hours

2011-01-31T22:47:00.000-05:00

Okay, back to Oscars: clicking of the last movie that's in theatres, 127 Hours had me at James Franco. Seriously, is there anything this guy can't do?

Anyway, back to the movie. I'm a little leery of flicks that force the lead actor to act by him/herself for most of the film (I always think of Castaway) - the chances of things going really well or really badly are separated by the slimmest of margins. Franco nailed it. And clever Danny Boyle directed the film in a way that tricks viewers in thinking they're watching different characters, when really they're not. that in itself is quite an accomplishment for both Boyle and Franco. (I really loved the talk show hallucination). I don't know if I can give this "Best Movie" but I think Franco has a real shot at Best Actor here, giving Jesse Eisenberg a run for his money; sadly, we all know what's going to happen "coughcolinfirthcough*

The movie was gripping, intense, gross and incredibly touching: 4.5 out of 5 stars.

Now Playing: The Green Hornet

2011-01-31T01:03:00.004-05:00

I'm not sure I even want to give The Green Hornet a full review. Aside from the awesome Jay Chou, and a great cameo by James Franco (totally stole the scene, hard to do opposite Christoph Waltz) this movie is pretty, well, boring. I can't imagine it becoming a franchise (again). Then again, look at Transformers. I guess for completion's sake, I have to review it here: rent it, if you're really bored; but with all the amazing choices out there right now, this one will have a hard time catching anyone's attention. 3 out of 5 stars.

Honestly though, the Oscar list this year is so much more worthy of your time.

2011 oscar noms

2011-01-25T18:17:00.001-05:00

Given the sheer amount of movies I watch, it would be remiss of me to allow the nominations for Oscar's 83rd cine-gala to go by without mention. Sadly, I haven't watched nearly as many as I would have liked; I will take solace that the many I missed were fairly late releases. So, without further ado, the nominations (links take you to my original review, if I've watched it)):

Actor in a Leading Role

Javier Bardem in “Biutiful”
Jeff Bridges in “True Grit”
Jesse Eisenberg in “The Social Network”
Colin Firth in “The King's Speech”
James Franco in “127 Hours”
...3/5 isn't bad and I had planned to see the other two anyway. Given what I know, I hope Eisenberg takes it. His portrayal of Mark Zuckerberg was bang-on and I was able to both love and hate him, which are my exact feeling towards Zuckerberg as well. Reality Check: Colin Firth will probably take it. He's done an Oscar movie and I don't know what Hollywood's obsession with royalty is (perhaps overcompensating for a lack of their own?) but they love to reward movies with crowns. Personally, I thought it was highly over-rated.

Actor in a Supporting Role
Christian Bale in “The Fighter”
John Hawkes in “Winter's Bone”
Jeremy Renner in “The Town”
Mark Ruffalo in “The Kids Are All Right”
Geoffrey Rush in “The King's Speech”
... Again, 3/5. And I've never heard of Winter's Bone (which, in and of itself, means nothing as it sounds very Oscar-ish). Bale should have this one in the bag, though. He was amazing in his role.

Actress in a Leading Role
Annette Bening in “The Kids Are All Right”
Nicole Kidman in “Rabbit Hole”
Jennifer Lawrence in “Winter's Bone”
Natalie Portman in “Black Swan”
Michelle Williams in “Blue Valentine”
...*wince*. Okay, clearly I cannot even talk about the nominations as, by sheer elimination, I can only cast one vote. I would like to comment on the judges deciding to not place True Grit's Hailee Steinfeld in this category, opting for supporting instead. I call foul! That young lady was in basically every frame of True Grit, held her own against some of the most decorated actors of our times and blew me away with her delivery. Had she been in this category, I think she would have even beat out Ms. Portman for my vote. Alas.

Actress in a Supporting Role
Amy Adams in “The Fighter”
Helena Bonham Carter in “The King's Speech”
Melissa Leo in “The Fighter”
Hailee Steinfeld in “True Grit”
Jacki Weaver in “Animal Kingdom”
...I think Steinfeld should win it. She was awesome. She has tough competition in Melissa Leo (who will probably end up with the statuette) and Bonham Carter.

Directing
Black Swan - Darren Aronofsky
The Fighter - David O. Russell
The King's Speech - Tom Hooper
The Social Network - David Fincher
True Grit - Joel Coen and Ethan Coen
...Yet another omission I don't understand. I watched all these movies and liked them for the most part, but really? No Christopher Nolan for Inception? If nothing else, that movie would be hard to direct, with its multiple parallel storylines and time-spaces. Personally, I'd have dropped King's Speech (which wasn't anything special for directing... I mean, it was played pretty straight). Of what's left, I hope Black Swan wins it - it was a nice piece of directing.

Best Picture
Black Swan
The Fighter
Inception
The Kids Are All Right
The King's Speech
127 Hours
The Social Network
Toy Story 3
True Grit
Winter's Bone
...really? Toy Story 3? I haven't watched it, but the three-quel of a Disney flick? Anyway... tough category. For sheer enjoyment, I wish Inception would win, but if you don't even acknowledge the director, this really doesn't have a shot. King's Speech, again, is an Oscar movie, but it was a snore-fest in comparison to these others. True Grit? Probably not, as Jeff Bridges' muttering made it hard to connect with the audience. I am torn between Social Network and Black Swan. Both were amazing character portrayals; both set the right tone for their respective movies and really engaged their audiences; both had tight, well-paced directing. A coin toss for me, and I'd be happy with either. Sadly, though, I see disappointment for both.

For a full list of nominations, go here. I fully intend to watch in either a ballgown or my fanciest pyjamas. I may even get cable just for the event.

Now Playing: The King's Speech

2011-01-19T15:36:00.001-05:00

The King’s Speech was the last movie I’d felt desperate to watch before the GG’s were on (of which I subsequently missed the first hour and am disappointed only due to missing Mr. Gervais’ opening monologue). I was looking forward to it, as I do enjoy a good British movie.

Sadly, I was a bit disappointed. I mean, everything was okay, but nothing spectacular. Acting was good, directing was good. I did disagree with whatever treatment they gave to the film, which made it feel grimy. Yes, very WWII-esque, but really unnecessary. And, though it is a historical movie, it was so predictable. I don’t feel like I've learned anything useful at all. There were moments where I was so bored, I was falling asleep!

All in all, over-rated. 2.5 out of 5 stars.

Now Playing: Black Swan

2011-01-10T23:18:00.000-05:00

Well, I didn't really know what to expect of Black Swan. I barely knew anything about it (except, of course, about the "hot lesbian sex scene between Natalie and Mila" ... it's hard not to know about that when you hang out with boys). So, let's get that out of the way: yes, there is a lesbian sex scene; yes, it is hot; no, it is not the only reason to watch this movie.

Who wrote this thing? Because that's the best part! I love when we take classics and update them; I especially love when those same classics then enjoy a resurgence because of it. How else would you get boys interested in Swan Lake and ballet? I thought the costuming and directing were really tight too. I really really liked the feathers bit (you'll know it when you see it) and how cringe-worthy this movie about a delicate art form really is. Finally, what is up with all the horror elements? It totally caught me off-guard in a very good way.

I enjoyed this movie immensely. I liked the acting, the directing, the script and the costumes. It was thoroughly entertaining. 4.5 out of 5 stars.

Now Playing: True Grit

2011-01-10T21:48:00.000-05:00

A Coen brothers' remake of the 1969 classic, True Grit has a lot going for it. Not a bIg fan of Westerns and knowing full well the love/hate relationship I have with the Coens, I went into True Grit with some trepidation. It was needless. Yes, Jeff Bridges was awesome. Yes, it was well-paced and pretty much perfectly directed for a Western. And no, there wasn’t enough of Josh Brolin in it. You know what really sold me? A little lady named Hailee Steinfeld. Sweet baby jesus, that girl is amazing! She needs to be nominated for Best Actress and I think she may actually be a contender to walk away with it! Seriously – she’s that good.

I don’t really know what else to say other than it was completely worth watching. Especially if you have a non-movie man in your life (I’m thinking of my dad). It was solid. 4 out of 5 stars.

ringing in 2011

2011-01-02T16:49:00.001-05:00

Things I learned during the wee infant hours of 2011:

1) Laotian Bucket Drinks: renamed the Fuck-It Bucket, this ingenious idea requires the following items
- one dollar-store toy bucket, the kind you used to use in the sandbox
- one mickey of your favourite whiskey
- one can of Red Bull
- a splash of coke for taste
- enough ice to fill what's left of the bucket
- plenty of straws
...Apparently, in Laos, these cost $2.50 USD. Worth every penny. As Mike said, before you realise it, you're about 25 shots in! Also: delicious! So, whenever someone lamented something from 2010, there was a general chorus of "fuck it! drink from the bucket!" Good times.

2) The worth of one's pyjamas is directly correlated with how close you are to them. Case in point: we had a 45-minute walk home that night, in balmy 9-degree weather (Celsius, for my American friends) and two conversations occured.

a) glass v. rock
Me: I think I have a piece of glass in my boot
Nish: Are you sure it's not a pebble or something?
Me: No, it's sharp-ish, like glass.
Nish. Well, if it's glass, we'd better stop; if it's a rock, suck it up.
Me: Nah, i'll just wiggle it to a place where it doesn't hurt.

b) feet v cab
Me: (after forty minutes of walking) That's it, I'm done.
Nish: what?
Me: I'm done. This walking thing has lost its novelty. If we see a cab now, we should just take it.
Nish: We're, like, ten minutes from home.
Me: yes, but in one minute we could in our jammies...
Nish:...*hails cab*

3) No resolutions this year. As Jadek says, they set us up for failure. Life changes will be made, including less junk food, more dancing and even more reading.

All the best in 2011, poppets!

Dear 2010,

2010-12-31T15:59:00.001-05:00

You've been a good year - a very good year indeed. I've seen lots of places, done lots of interesting things, indulged in my passions, and been treated like a princess. I'm a firm believer of the five spheres - family, friends, wealth, health and love. Most everyone and everything in our lives fit on one of these spheres. I think 2010 was the first year that I felt like my spheres actually clicked together, as opposed to smashing into each other..

Family: in a continuing upward trend, my family and I are beginning to enjoy each other's company. I think my twice-a-week visit helped quite a bit with that. We've actually chosen to hang out together, play games and just chat. I know people tell you this will happen, but I didn't really believe them.

Friends: I've been able to actually get this under control - weed out the chaff, as it were. Monthly Book Club meetings are one of my highlights in life and I simply love those ladies. Finding a new travel buddy that actually jives with Nish and my craziness has been a serious bonus - Ance, you're a gem. Board games are back on, although with less frequency, and I'm finding that they keep my competitive edge sharp. Work friends have become real friends (I can't tell you how lovely it is to walk into your office and have roses - or a scarf! - greet you).

Wealth: it's the first year I didn't feel poor (although, my bank account still does) and I've been afforded the gift of time to enjoy books, movies and mini-crafts. My job has been extremely satisfying and I feel like I've really made a difference. My recent promotion, I think, testifies to that. Speaking of which, in a month or so, I get to go back to a bipedal commute that's under fifteen minutes. A new challenge and I'm a little excited (though still sad to be leaving where I am now).

Health: any year where I don't contract a fatal disease is a good one. *knock wood* Having gotten over my initial illness early this year, we've had a pretty good run.

Love: ahh, love. Elusive little minx. I'm lucky to say I've found someone who will put up with my special brand of crazy and who doesn't seem to mind that I travel without him, have a life outside of him and who loves me despite (because of?) my tendency to be incredibly demanding. Who knew this was possible?

So! As I think back to my 2010 resolutions this year, I realise I did almost none of the things I set out to - I think I drank less, read less and crafted almost nothing. I did get Netflix and began bringing home library DVDs every week, so I guess there's that... but I still watched a LOT of movies this year. Meh - I don't even feel guilty. I clearly did something right this year, so why mess with a winning formula...if only I knew what that formula is...

Thanks, 2010, for being kinda awesome. You've set a bar.

Sincerely,
-Me

[Happy New Years, everyone! Best of luck for 2011 and, as Elle says, I hope you all make more money than a comatose pigeon!]

Let The Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist

2010-12-29T14:27:00.000-05:00

Blood, murder, rape, transgender issues and vampires... must be the Christmas Book Club pick! Yes, this year, we decided to keep up our annual tradition of being non-traditional and chose Let The Right One In, an English translation of the original Swedish novel, which has gone on to win lauds and praises as a movie, both in English and Swedish.

What can I tell that the back of the book won't? Well, BOB says it's chilling, a classic tale of horror, a roaring good story it has vampires at their best. All true. What I liked about it though were the not-so-obvious shocks to the system. Oskar and his hellish existence at school, the drunken wastrels of the Chinese restaurant, the drugs, the booze and the copious amounts of blood. This was an easy book to read, not by a long shot. Much harder to read at night with nothing but the humidifier to keep me company. I actually had to put it down forcibly, often feeling a little ill in the stomach. Lindqvist's (and his translator's) gift for description was often a little too good. Like a horribly bloody car wreck, I couldn't help but crane my neck for a closer view of the gore and then shudder when I caught a glimpse of it.

Should you read it? Yes. Will it make you uncomfortable? Most definitely. Will you regret it? i don't think so.

Now Playing: The Fighter

2010-12-29T14:05:00.001-05:00

Even though I've sworn off making an effort to watch the Golden Globes, I still checked out the 2010 nominations list in the effort to get a head start on the Oscars. I was happy to see that I've already reviewed five of them and The Fighter made it number six. Nominated in five major categories, I was ready for a tour de force. I was disappointed. Unlike The Wrestler (to which, of course, people are comparing ...unjustly so), this is based on a true story. In case you doubted, we even see the real people at the end (don't you love when they do that?).

The acting was great - I mean REALLY great. While Mark Wahlberg put some real effort into it, yes, he is distinctly overshadowed by Christian Bale (who is genius, really), Amy Adams (the princess goes badass) and Melissa Leo (damn, this lady can act). Even the side characters were amazing - I believed every minute of it. Th directing was tight, well-paced. What can I say about the story - it's true! I did like what they did with the documentary "twist" - when you see it, you'll know what I mean - and how it took us as viewers along for the ride.

Best movie of 2010? Definitely a strong contender. Perhaps I can make a more educated decision when I've watched the rest. 4.5 out of 5 stars.

Now Playing: The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

2010-12-28T12:09:00.000-05:00

The third movie in the Narnia series, perhaps the last we'll see of the Pevensies, came out to little fanfare earlier this month. I barely remember the other two movies (except for Tilda Swinton, whom I adore), so I'm glad they didn't decide to make it too memory dependent. Anyway, on to the movie.

The visual feel of the movie is really the best part, very distinct and unique. You can watch any clip from the series and know immediately that it's Narnia, as opposed to Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter. The acting is as solid as ever, with the kids holding up their own. The other thing I really like is the seamless incorporation of animatronics, digital effects and puppetry: Toravon looked so real, so life-like, that I still can't decide if he was computer-generated or some sort of Hensonesque magic; Aslan, too, is just so Lion-like - when Lucy hugs him, you can see her fingers threading through his fur. As Jadek says, the interaction between the "animals" and the humans is some of the best I've seen on screen.

The action is dramatic and the scenery is very well done. The 3D doesn't overwhelm or take over the movie as it tends to do in other post-production renderings. Nor does it go by unnoticed. Well-paced and well-choreographed, the sequences are pretty riveting (and because I haven't read the books in close to twenty years, nail-biting!).

So what is it about the movies that don't really have an impact on people (or the box office)? I'm not sure. Perhaps it's the very British dialogue that's lost on North American audiences (Harry Potter had to change its Philosopher's Stone to a ridiculous Sorceror's Stone because of this). Or the distinctly religious overtones (though, during the Holidays, one would think this would be a bonus). Maybe it's just too removed from contemporary audiences, with its WWII frame and its lack of modern techno wizardry. Whatever it is, I doubt we'll talk about this series the way we talk about LOTR, even seven years later.

Despite its lack of box office gold, I still think The Voyage of the Dawn Treader is worth a trip to the local multiplex. 3.5 out of 5 stars.

Now Playing: Tron

2010-12-28T12:04:00.000-05:00

I tried watching the original Tron in anticipation of the slick sequel - I fell asleep halfway through. This did not bode well. However, with Jeff Bridges, I am inclined to reserve judgement.

Things I loved: it was a real sequel with no apologies and with every assumption you'd watched the first one. It actually takes place twenty-eight year later. A lot of the original characters are back, with one glaring exception (what the heck happened to Lora anyway?). The special effects were beautifully slick and the 3D was so natural. I really liked that the Tron world was in 3D but the real world was normal. It's too bad the original came out in 1982 when, let's face it, movie technology was in its real infancy and couldn't possibly have kept up with artistic visions.

I didn't really hate much in the movie at all. Aside from the obvious unanswered question: how the heck did she get out? (not when the heck is the next part due out...). If you are going to see it, I suggest watching it in the theatre (unless you own a 3D TV) because it's a very pretty movie. If you're not, don't bother. 3 out of 5 stars.

***

This movie led to an animated discussion as to which movies were real benchmarks for special effects. Jadek thought Jurassic Park was a real show-stopper - the first time that fake characters (e.g. dinosaurs) were completely realistic. I went back much further to Jaws, featuring a very realistic shark as an actual character in a film, the villain to boot! Matrix, of course, changed the way we film fight scenes and do wire work. I struggled with finding a place for Star Wars, which I think is fairly mediocre but I suppose the space scenes were pretty cutting edge and actually employed some interesting battle mechanics. Makes for interesting pre-movie popcorn conversation.

On Stage: How the Grinch Stole Christmas

2010-12-24T12:26:00.001-05:00

Do you know me? If you do, the you’ll know just how much I LOVE Dr. Seuss’ classic Christmas book.

Background: I didn’t read this book until I was in my teens. I did, however, see the inimitable Boris Karloff-helmed version on CBC in 1987 and I just fell in love. It has been a tradition ever since to watch it on Christmas Eve. I couldn’t think of better way to spend a cold December night than singing along to “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” with hundreds of other kids (and kids-at heart)! Thanks to Jadek, that happened this past Monday and boy was it fun!

Of course, the classic songs are in the play; but they also have some originals that can really get stuck in your head. (“Who likes Christmas? Whos like Christmas!”). The kids are just great in it, without being saccharine. The costumery and sets are perfect, evoking all the images associated with the book, without looking cheap or cardboard-like. Honestly, it was a great time. If it’s still around, it, too, might become a tradition!

Now Playing: The Tourist

2010-12-24T12:08:00.000-05:00

When I first saw The Tourist trailer, I totally hyperventilated. The pairing of the Perfect Man with my Dream Woman? Oh. My. God. December wouldn’t get here fast enough! Due to certain circumstances, I couldn’t watch the movie on its opening weekend and I was really disappointed to see all the terrible reviews. Could it be? The perfect pairing was a perfect flop? I decided to ignore the reviews and go in to enjoy the movie anyway.

Here’s the thing: when two people are that sexy and that cool, there comes a time when it’s all just too much. Like eating a UK-sized bar of Cadbury, about halfway through I’m thinking “I love you!”, three-quarters “I’m getting kinda full” and when I was done I couldn’t decide if it was all worth it, despite continuing to lick my fingers.

Everything about this movie was okay – which is disappointing. Sort of like Rumer Willis. I just expected fireworks! Chemistry! Sexiness out the wazoo! What I got was decent, but it didn’t blow my mind. Plot-wise it was pretty good – and no I didn’t completely guess the ending, which is a definite plus. The locales were spectacular. (I need to go to Venice). Acting was solid and the action was very believable. So? A good movie. But not great. I am fighting inner biases by dropping it down to a mere 3.5 out of 5 stars.

Now Playing: Red

2010-12-05T18:28:00.000-05:00

I actually watched Red quite some time ago, but just plumb forgot to review it (thanks Jadek). Here's what I remember, in stream of consciousness mode (which is all i can muster on three hours of sleep).

The actors were great, with the stellar Helen Mirren really standing out (who, I'm pretty sure, went without make-up for most of the movie and was simply divine!). John Malkovich is his usual crazy self (can that man ever play normal) and, oh, Ernest Borgnine! Surprise! Also, the charming Brian Cox - if I were forty year older, I'd be swooning.

The actions scenes were pretty good too, the best one you can see in the trailer, the dialogue is quippy and the plot has enough twists to actually keep you interested in between the blow-em-up scenes. I liked it, but the reason it stands out is because of the premise, which is so much better executed than that other movie (which wasn't bad to begin with). 4 out of 5 stars.

Now Playing: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, part one

2010-12-03T12:51:00.002-05:00

I know, I know... FINALLY. Poppets, you cannot know how hard it was for me not to have watched the penultimate instalment of the Harry Potter series within 24 hours of its release. A trip to Virginia and limited IMAX screenings really did their best to get in the way but I conquered all these obstacles Wednesday night!

What can I say? After the almost-disastrous Half-Blood Prince, Deathly Hallows was simply divine. And while I won't go back on my long-ago promise to avoid book comparisons, I will say that the script writers went to great lengths (emphasis on length) to stay true to the feel, pace and gravitas of the seventh book. Yes, there's a lot of aimless wandering and yes there's some annoyingly rash decision-making but hello? we're dealing with seventeen-year-olds, people, and that what makes it so believable.

So we get a lot of Harry, Hermione and Ron - as we should. The rest of the cast, though, are severely under-represented. I couldn't believe that Rickman's Snape really only got one scene - even dead Professor Dumbledore seemed to get more minutes than he did. No McGonagall, barely any Weasleys, three seconds of Lupin... I suppose it IS what the book was like, but still.

Clocking in at two and a half hours, I thought I'd be antsy about halfway through; I was grossly mistaken. In fact, I was actually surprised when the credits came up! I turn to Jadek and was all "that's it?" - so the pacing was incredible.

I feel weird rating half a movie, because we can't really talk about plot, etc. However, I'm a happy camper. 4.5 out of 5 stars.

fruit cake recipe

2010-11-30T17:43:00.000-05:00

Last week, I was in Virginia visiting family, most especially my Nana. We have a special arrangement for our matriarch: she spends many months at a time at one of her kids' residences scattered across the globe (Canada, US, UK, Australia and her own home in Bangladesh). She was supposed to have come to stay with us in September until January, but within five days of landing in VA, she suffered what doctors could only describe as a mild stress attack and was told she was not to travel for at least six months, meaning no excursions north. Much disappointment ensued. So, we packed up our car instead and headed down to be with her, even if for a few short days.

Nana is 77 years old. She doesn't look or act it, but her body must sometimes feel it. All this jet-setting around the world can't be good for her. We would gladly have her come live with us, but alas, the Canadian government has a different concept of "family" that doesn't include adoptive grandmothers whom we love and miss dearly. In fact, we pretty much fight for custody.

Since I last saw Nana, things have changed. I've completely taken over the Holiday baking from Mom and so I knew I'd have to cajole the Christmas Fruit Cake recipe from her. It's no secret that Nana is the best cook in our family (and possibly the world) but the woman cooks from her head not from a recipe. Challenge issued. I asked if I could watch her bake one and then she could watch me bake one. It was interesting to try and take notes about "pinches" "dashes" and "andaaz" (roughly translated as "know-how")... and I did it. In all the revelry, however, I did not get to bake one for her approval.

As I walked out the door to leave for home, Nana hugged me close and whispered to send her a piece. I told her it wouldn't taste nearly as good as hers and she said that wasn't the point, that she didn't want the cake, she wanted something made by my hands. At that moment, I was more than prepared to stow her away in our car and bring her away with us, for good.

Today, I began soaking the fruits and nuts in dark rum.

Dreams from My Father by Barack Obama

2010-11-30T13:06:00.002-05:00

The full title of this book is Dreams from My Father: a Story of Race and Inheritance and was originally published in 1995 (who knew?) by Barack Obama, five years after he had foreshadowed greater things by becoming the first black president of the Harvard Law Review. Others have elucidated better than I the fascinating publishing history of this particular work so I won't go into it.

If you, like me, watched the President-Elect on the night of his victory, perhaps you too felt a ridiculous rush of emotion watching him do so. I had picked up Dreams when I headed to Vegas in September and finished it on a porch in Virginia last week. At first, I was merely curious to see how this guy came to be. I mean, he's just so interesting, with his globe-trotting activist-Mom, his Kenyan Dad and his Indonesian stepdad and his many African "aunties" and his struggle to be a "black" man raised predominantly by his white grandparents. I love that this guy wandered about his youth just like we all did: experimenting, failing, doing stupid things, being a jerk. It still blows my mind that this guy made it to where he is today.

The writing style can sometimes be a bit formal; for the most part, though, it's accessible and easy to read. I'm sure much has been glossed over but I can't say that it detracts from the book at all. If anything, the book is less about Obama himself and more about the perceptions of things: his perceptions of himself, of others; others' perceptions of him; America's perceptions of itself and others, etc.

Yes, it was a bit of a slow read. I still think it's a worthwhile endeavour, especially for us Canadians.

On Stage: Wicked

2010-11-11T17:30:00.001-05:00

As with the book, I expected a lot from this production. I mean, it's just crying out for green glitz and glamour! While the actors did a phenomenal job of singing - especially Glinda! - I found the staging rather boring (so many empty stage numbers) and the song lyrics a bit, well, underwhelming. Andrew Lloyd Webber, this is not. There are some songs I could sing again - okay, really only "Popular" - and I do think I may be reviving my very first Halloween costume. Would I recommend this? Not really - not when you can see Lion King or Chicago or something instead.

Regardless, it was a nice way to spend a Wednesday night with the ladies. And I got a really near sweatshirt out of it!

lucky punk

2010-10-25T11:37:00.001-04:00

2010's local adventures found us at the gun range, with the usual suspects.

Aside: it is truly rare to find people that won't drive you crazy after a few hours, let alone a few days. You know, people who will stop to let you take funny/beautiful pictures or who understand the need to eat something new and different when you are actually some place that is new and different or who indulge in stunts/stops so we can say that. yes, we did it and no, you probably never will. People who have mental check-lists of things to see/do/eat and who agree that there's enough time to sleep when you're dead. I have a renewed appreciation for AnCe and Nish. Who better to shoot things with?

So: gun range in Gormley (where. the fuck. is that.). FUN! We shot three 9mm handguns (Sig Sauer, Smith & Wesson, Glock), a 45mm Glock (my fave) and a Smith & Wesson .22 Rifle. Of these, the Glock 45 is my favourite. It's heavier, but I think because of that, it feels more solid. Regardless, the Glocks were the better gun - a long first trigger squeeze, but smooth and consistent. Leave it to the ...Austrians? Huh.

I got ready for my introduction to the 12-gauge fabarm shotgun. Understand a little of my trepidation: I knew someone who dislocated her shoulder from the recoil of a shotgun. I had seen the bruising that had crept all the way up her neck. As I waited my turn, the person in front of me actually lost her ear muffs from the barrel of the gun smashing into them. Oh. Dear. God. Ance and Nish had already gone and they were happy as clams. I was last to shoot.

A new (very appropriate zombie) target is posted. Here's how to stand: left foot in front, lean forward, ass sticking out, place the stock on the meaty part of your right shoulder, round your body around the barrel - hug it like you love it! - left hand on the barrel, right cheek on the cool, smooth stock. Close my left eye, shuck the barrel back, adjust my shot, slow trigger squeeze and BLAM! In the left cheek. Recoil? Who cares, it's still alive. Shuck the barrel, the empty case comes flying out, adjust my sight and BLAM! Skims the right ear and jawbone. Shuck the barrel, adjust my sight, one shot left, make it count. Blam! Through the throat. The instructor laughs as he takes down the target. "You took his head clean off! Nice job!" And he's right. If it wasn't for the white border, the actual zombie would be in two pieces. God, that felt good. And totally badass.

the valet kind of life

2010-10-25T11:12:00.003-04:00

If you're going to turn 30, you may as well do it with style! That's what AnCe decided, anyway. That's how I found myself pulling up to King Edward's Hotel for brunch. With Pollyanna in the passenger seat, I'm marvelling at the architecture. And then, a valet pop ups and opens the door. To my car. My scratched-up, now-discontinued, plastic Saturn. Bizarro! Ignoring all my ghetto twinges of leaving my keys in the hands of some stranger, we walk into King Eddie's lobby with all its early twentieth-century charm. We are, of course, last to arrive (Pollyanna + Brown Time = inevitable delays).

After the introductions (none of which I remember, really) we dig in. Brunch is a seven-table affair with some of the most delicious food I've ever had! Pre-peeled shrimp and made-in-house cocktail sauce, beef Wellington, Latin-style shrimp-and-scallop salad, lamb with mint sauce, four kinds of pate and seven kinds of cheese, cracked-for-convenience crab legs, ... I was in heaven. And the desserts! A display case of fudge, tiny muffins, cake, cake, cake, and that mousse-in-a-wineglass. *faint*

So, yeah, it was expensive, but completely worth it. If for nothing else but to get a glimpse of how the other half lives. Happy birthday AnCe!

Now Playing: Social Network

2010-10-25T10:59:00.000-04:00

I went to see Social Network last week, starring a very talented cast, headed up by Jesse Eisenberg. Let's get it out there: I don't know Mark Zuckerberg personally (obviously) nor am I affiliated with him in any way; however, I do not like him. Thank you for Facebook, Mark, but could you please stay out of my pictures? So, yeah, I wasn't very interested in seeing the movie, but it was getting some very positive reviews, some Oscar buzz, and I thought "alright, fine".

The movie was very good. I mean, really good. Every single cast member brought it to the set. Jesse Eisenberg was amazing and Andrew Garfield hit it out of the park. All other cast member, including usually banal JT, turned it up. They were required to deliver quick, pithy script and to deliver it in a realistic and believable way. That scene where Eduardo freaks out over an article about his pet cannibal chicken? Priceless! It's the little details that you find in these exchanges that make the whole film memorable.

I still don't know how I feel about a biopic based on a living person and on a story less than ten years old (can it be accurate? is it being influenced by people with vested interests? how biographical is it really?). Then again, how accurate is any story and don't all movies have the directors/producers influencing the subject matter?.

Anyway, it's worth checking it out. I "like"d it. 4 out of 5 stars.

the grandest canyon / O!

2010-10-19T22:04:00.001-04:00

We took a two-day trip to the Grand Canyon National Park, going over the Hoover Dam to get there. A word (or several) about Hoover: that Dam is pretty cool. I mean, the engineering of it all! That kind of labour could only happen during a depression when people are too desperate to say no to 14-hour days of pouring cement while a several-million tonnes of water was waiting to burst through. It was worth the sidebar.

So, the Grand Canyon: it is not the widest, the deepest or the longest, but it is the grandest. We arrived at around 1400 and it all seemed very pretty. I mean, it was big, but mostly, it was the colour of the rocks and almost-painting like quality of the view that was so beautiful. It wasn't until sunset that it became spectacular. The shadows lengthened, the rocks took on a burnished-gold hue and the entire place just seemed to steep itself in awesome. The sun took about three minutes to set and within five minutes of that it was dead dark. I mean, DEAD dark. Considering the serious lack of guardrails throughout most of the park, it's no wonder that the shuttle buses that spirit travellers through the vast area picked up anyone at any point on the roads.

The next day we took a leisurely three-hour rim walk. It was just as amazing. Being a little sensitive to perceived "dangerous" situations, I spent the walk with tingly palms and soles. I was sad to leave so quickly, but I hope to return one and make to the bottom as well as to the North Rim.

***

Back in Vegas, there was only one thing left to do: O! Here is but a sampling of statements made:
- Did that guy just walk on water?
- Is that a pool on the stage?
- Oh my god, the entire stage is a pool!
- How are the mermaids breathing under there for like thirty minutes?
- Haha, audience participation...
- Wait, the audience guy just got pushed into the pool!
- Hey, that guy's on fire!
- I think my brain just went poof.
...Go see O.

Also: Batman with showgirl on his arm. 'nuff said.

A quick jaunt to M&M World, dinner at this tiny place called Nobu (which was freakishly good), a random movie and then home.

viva las vegas (and related adventures)

2010-10-17T19:52:00.003-04:00

Where had I left off? Oh yes - Napa! So much happened...

Napa: we toured in wine country for a bit, finding a Canadian winery (!!) and, of course, drinking there. During our wander about town, I declared a need for seafood and we tried A Fish Story, but was too smelly. A few doors down, there was a sushi place so that's where we popped in. When I actually looked at the menu, I realised that we were in a Morimoto restaurant! Hai, indeed! After that, we stumbled back to SanFran, with a little llama detour, and spent our night is the sketchtastic Americania. Seriously, don't stay there.

Next: Yosemite. Glacier-produced bouldery goodness. It's such a different park than what I'm used to here in Canada. I mean, seriously, wheelchair-accessible? The trails are paved, not just mashed down grass that looks vaguely trodden-upon. We did four trails before heading off to Vegas the next day. Or at leasttried to ehad off to Vegas. The direct (seven-hour) route was closed - thanks a lot boulders! - and so we had to detour and do an eleven-hour trek through Fresno, of all places.

Anyway, we arrived (exhausted) in Vegas and checked into our swank PH Westgate suite with its King-sized bed and its padded headboard and soaker-tub-with-water-jets and I spent a delirious evening getting clean. The next day, I wandered about the strip, taking pictures and consulting my Lonely Planet and being a total tourist. I must have caught the Bellagio fountains at least seven times, but each time was amazing. Went to bed early that night in order to make it up for 6am the next morning.

Next stop: Grand Canyon!

Now Playing: The Town

2010-10-15T17:56:00.000-04:00

So, I needed to kill four hours in Las Vegas on a Sunday afternoon. Naturally, I went to see a movie. Which movie? The Town, starring and directed by Ben Affleck.

It was okay. It did its job (i.e. waste time) and it was true to life in that it didn't have any real resolutions at the end. I did think that most of the characters got off a bit easy, but whatevs. I can't get super-excited about this review as the movie was a mere "meh". It wasn't good, it wasn't bad, and it wasn't ugly (enough). 3 out of 5 stars.

A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore

2010-10-13T19:41:00.001-04:00

The stars aligned for this month's Book Club pick: A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore. It's a Halloween-themed book (death) and is set in San Francisco (where I read most of it) - yay!

This is the third book by Moore that I've read after Lamb and Stupidest Angel. I thoroughly enjoyed Lamb - it's on the left as one of my must-read books - and Stupidest Angel was pretty solid. High expectations were had before I even cracked open the cover.

In short: expectations met.

In long: despite the glaringly obvious conclusion, reading the book was really fun. Maybe it was because I was actually on Powell Ave and in Ghirardelli Square as I was reading, but I got a real sense of the City by the Bay and all its eccentricities. It's like the city became a character in an of itself - its sewers, bridges, hills and trolleys. It was a really neat perspective.

Charlie has to be one of my favourite literary characters in recent reading. Assuming his Beta Male mantle with ease, he does his best (and it is a very good best) to cope with wife's death, his daughter's "kitty" powers, his dogs and his employees' growing weirdness. In many ways, Charlie is a great success in most everything he does, including his second job as a Death Merchant. He makes a good case for the evolutionary necessity of embracing your Flight (over Fight) tendencies and the aphrodisiacal effect that a man who listens has on women. Also: they make good dads, as he demonstrates with Sophie.

All in all, considering this was a Halloween-themed pick, I recommend it highly. In fact, i recommend Christopher Moore highly. He's always an intelligent read without being a intellectual exercise. And he uses swear words in the most creative ways possible. Heinous fuckery, indeed.

shark-infested waters

2010-10-03T00:10:00.002-04:00

5am: wakeup call. Yuck. Then I remember why I'm getting one: sharks! Dress very quickly. Still battling my cold means that I have to convince Divemaster (hai!) that I can breathe through a regulator. At the marina, we board the Superfish and we're off. It's still dead dark and it isn't until we're under the Golden Gate bridge that the sun finally makes an appearance (wrapped in fog, of course). Divemaster catches me trying to surreptitiously blow my nose and asks if I'm sick: yes.. but only a little! I'm sure I'll be fine! He asks me to take three deep breaths with my mouth closed. That doesn't work. Then he asks me to take three deep-ish breaths through a straw. I start coughing halfway through the second one. Sorry, grasshopper, no dive for you. Come back, one year. Half price. Hai Divemaster. My scopamine patch cannot stop this particular feeling of sickness on the belly.

Once we clear the Bay, it's nothing but open ocean until we hit the Farallon Islands. And open ocean means three things around here: cold, rough and boring. Didn't help that there was no sun and it was nearly two hours before we get to our destination. Of the twelve of us on the boat, at least eight seek refuge in the cabin, eyes closed and hoping not to chum the waters ourselves. And then we're there. The Farallons: nothing but a hunk of rock with some seals, gulls and a few gazillion flies. Why do they need a research station out here? and why is this, of all places, a sanctuary? Birds, apparently. And the seals are the perfect bait for some hungry, hungry Great Whites. I watch, in jealousy, as the first three people change into their wetsuits and lower themselves into the cage. I am not, however, envious of them entirely. The water is a frigid 10C. And now we wait for our sharks.

Here's the thing, though: no chum in the water. According to Divemaster (hai!), Great Whites are only interested in seal meat, so chumming with anything else is "useless" - okay, but why would a shark (a creature so lazy, it has decided that it will only eat in the most efficient way possible) come anywhere near a boat when it could just east seals? And, though it may be a "visual hunter", why would it go our decoys when the water visibility was so crappy? But, hey, these guys are the professionals. It's now 0900 and we have seven hours to go.

By 1330, everyone has been in the cage and has seen absolutely nothing. Topside, I've seen a few seals in the water, a couple of grey whales, but that's it. Suddenly, my not being in 10C water isn't so bad. At 1400, we call it quits. The weather is dismal and cold, providing no visibility (my picture of the grey whale? in grey water against a grey sky? yeah. useless.), and the water is really choppy. Sometimes it was calms for many moments and then we'd get rocked for no reason, pitching us against railings and throwing all our gear all over the cabin. Personally, I think a few Great Whites figured us out and decided to knock us about a bit. I mean, it's not like we could see them even five feet under the water. On our way back, we encountered Blue Whales (they were HUGE!! 40 feet at least). But our extended visit with them was too much for even me and for the first time ever, I contributed my own biofluids to the ocean. Ew.

As usual, what makes trips like this fun despite crushing disappointment are the people you share them with. JS from Oklahoma kept me laughing even in the van ride back. The Vannahs (from Vegas) we re great company on the boat, giving us a list of must-eats in SanFran and SinCity. In turn, I promised to share my NFLD itinerary with them - yes, I did my part for Canadian Tourism. Marshall (that crazy mofo who spent three HOURS in the cage) was also a good sport. The LucasFilm sweethearts summed up my feeling exactly: "I'll take a dorsal fin, like, 300 feet away at this point!"

What I learned:
1) I am clearly a landlubber. Even as I type this, I'm gently weaving side-to-side as if I'm still on that boat.
2) No shark-diving without chum. Ever.
3) Beware of cold-water diving.

Next: drowning my sorrows in Napa!

SFO and the slammer

2010-10-01T12:12:00.000-04:00

Day one of the trip is complete! and what a very very long it was. We landed in San Francisco at 10am local time, leaving us with plenty of time to explore our first day. Lucky for us, when we arrived at our hotel, our room was ready, so we were able to dump our luggage right away. Doesn't surprise me that our room was ready, though, tiny as it is. The bed is actually smaller than mine at home! and guess what - there's only one! We weren't going to let that dampen our spirits. Once we were done checking in / freshening up it was already 1300. That gave us 5 hours until our Alcatraz "cruise" allowed us to board. We thought we'd just meander and with that tripped out of the hotel.

First stop: lunch! Maru Sushi? sure. it was okay - a bit salty. This is when I first realised that I wasn't tasting things properly. Ruh-roh. You know what this means? I be sick. I trooped on. We were going to walk straight down Powell until we hit the piers and then just take it from there. We were waylaid not two blocks away from the restaurant by a seemingly friendly old man who saw me peeing at my map. He says: where are you headed? I say: to the piers; is this the right direction. He says: yes, but why not hop a trolley? Well, we're just going to walk it. And then he starts telling us where he's going and what a great place it is and how we should just get on the trolley and go there. JC and I begin nodding and smiling. Ruh-roh, indeed. Once we we able to shake him off we just walked until we hit water.

At the pier, we saw a breakdancing show (to which I donated $5) and a steel drum show (to which I donated nothing). We walked over to Pier 39 and watched some seals, had some soft-serve and took in all the tourist-y goodness that is the double-level, boardwalk-and-shop extravaganza that is Pier 39. I bought some starfish that were guaranteed not to break for my bathroom. I resisted the rest. We were beginning to get tired by now, so we though we'd kill an hour over crab cakes and chowder at Chowder's. Chattted a bit.

At 1730, we made tracks to get to Pier 33 for our Alcatraz Cruise - I find it funny that they call a 12-minute ferry ride a cruise, but if Americans do anything right, it is marketing. By the time we arrived on the island, it's just about sunset in the foggy Bay, which sets a nice eerie feeling in. The night tour at Alcatraz gives you all the historical stuff that the day tour does - the inmates, the cells, the history, the drama. But what only the night tour can deliver is "ambiance" - and what an ambiance it is! The hospital wing - still under restoration - is so creepy and weird with outmoded "medical" instruments, it's downright horrific. The cells where the guards were gunned down during a botched escape attempt, the old Spanish fortifications, the gun gallery... all very picture-worthy. We caught the last boat out and were back in SanFran by 2200.

After a late-night snack at Lori's (Bay Shrimp salad!) and a stop at Walgreen's (Nyquil!) it was time for us two tired cats to go to bed. But, the bed... it was so small. So JC opted for the floor - maybe to spare me his tossing and turning, maybe to quarantine himself from my ever-worsening illness, who knows? - and by 2330, it was lights-out in San Francisco.

Today: dive suit and leisurely wandering. Maybe an early check-in and more sleeping for me before our 15-hour day tomorrow (shark dive!). Did you know if you're sick they won't let you dive? No wonder JC took the floor...

Later poppets!

sharks, loan & great white

2010-09-28T20:44:00.001-04:00

In a few hours, I check off a major point on my life's to-do list: diving with great white sharks. I simply cannot wait. While there, I thought I'd polish off a few more points as well: Grand Canyon, Las Vegas and Alcatraz. Why not? I'll tell you all about it upon my return. Gobble Gobble!

full

2010-09-22T23:09:00.002-04:00

Had a bit of a revealing thought this morning as I'm getting ready for work (and my big presentation, which turned out just fine, tyvm). There I am, trying to figure out exactly how to tame my rain-inspired Chaka Khan hair (ponytail? barrettes? bun? footloose-and-fancy-free?), still dressed in only a skirt and bra and all of a sudden I get a flash - yes, indeed, for the moment, I am content. Perhaps it's because I'd had my Special K this morning or because I knew exactly what I was going to wear. Maybe it was because I was feeling confident about the presentation. I don't know what it was, but it felt good. And then, as I'm heading out the door (hair in barrettes), coat in one hand keys in the other, I get it again. Most definitely: content.

It's been a while since I've felt this. The last time I remember it happening was quite some time ago. Sure I've been happy since - dozens of times! - but this sense of home has been fleeting. I guess home is that feeling that everything is as it should be. You know? You feel a comfort in your skin, in your keys, in your knee-high boots. And, today, it showed. I got all sorts of compliments on my outfit (not a stitch of "new"), my wit, my assuredness.

Ahh, but all is fleeting. Sure, I was content, but when will I be satisfied? I suppose "never" is a viable answer. I mean, imagine if I were always satisfied - I'd become an inert lump in my own life! So, I suppose it's only natural that this, too, shall pass. That, even after a fabulously delicious meal that leaves me full... well, I'm still going to be hungry at some point the next day. I guess I just enjoy the moment as much as possible, relish each bite and savour each swallow, commit the sensations to memory so I can call on them when pickings get a little slim, as they sometimes do.

It felt good, today. Really good. Full-to-the-brim good. Yum.

6 a.m.

2010-09-21T00:04:00.000-04:00

A.M, Six a.m.

Another Saturday night gone into the keys.

And this hole in my chest keeps growing.

A lasting embrace is all we need. A chance to be wrong. A chance to be right.
Acronyms and similes are poor protection. After a thousand years, it won't matter.

As the last haze whispers and floats into the morning, I stare.

Away from here, to such great heights.

But this is not home. Stop. Turn back your clock. Stop. Set your Alarm. Stop. Your ideas have suffered enough. Stop. Avenge your inner child. Stop. Exercise. Stop. Exorcise.

If I could marry this chord, I would, and have symphonies of children.

Pure Fuckin' Bass. Fragile, Stripped, and Bare Digital Sine Waves echo through my head. They are trapped in our hearts. A heart that shines and burns in our moments of being lost.

Outstretched limbs from the family tree create shelter and shade, but I need to shake my root, and soak in the sun.

Chase it wherever it goes. Cast a reflection back on the holy waters that filled my lungs.
And breathe slower. And slower. And slower.

Until the sun is gone. and there's no more light to chase. Asphyxiation writes me out.

And the void from my chest implodes. The curse has scratched and clawed out; tooth and nail. The continuum draws in.

The rules and arithmetic are broken, the physics are battered and torn.

Its 6 a.m.

The Ethics have turned Into Dust.

~Jai Daniels. 2010-06-18 @ 0635